the truth behind black and white hats…

Many of you wonder why I post my bare thoughts.

Many of you would like to advice me against exposing myself as several have already done.

I have to tell you something.

I have been through a great shock.  I went through it because I played the rules of this universe where it tells you to not be spontaneous and fearless, to be careful and  to wait. A place where to be yourself is the worse crime and therefore you are made to believe you should hide.

I have worked against my basic purpose that is truth and streathfordwardness.

I have nearly died.

Therefore I have  made a decision.

I do not care anymore about the rules of this universe about what are the suppose to or must/must not do, I’m going to be here, who I’m.

I’m not going to be someone else or say what people want to hear.

I may be lose friends or be let alone… but you know something, those are the people who shouldn’t be with me in the first place. Those are the kind of people who has brought me down into the coal-pit.

I haven’t been able to sleep the last 3 days.

I felt very upset.

Something was not adding up all this time.

Here I have a guy that uses people, lies,  a true 1.1 and he is just getting help from right and left, he finds people like me and his exes and new 2D’s that are willing to die for him, he has a great job and does everything he likes and get free help from friend and family and is protected bu the Church of $.

Here I’m. High awareness, ethical, dedicated and with high care for people. Putting others as a priority over things.

I’m a very theta special being and I’m sitting here alone  in deep sadness.

Something is not right. Something is really wrong.

I used to believe that soon or later justice will come, but I do not believe it anymore.

I feel like the Karma or the future paying of our “sin” is just another way to escape the very sad painful truth that we have been screwed and we are not able to do anything about.

It is a lie that we wish on ourself to seek relief.

Like believing in God. What an invention!

You are tired to cry alone, you are unable to fight back to suppression and you dream of a God that listen to you and does justice for you. You have someone to talk to and listen to you. You got your imaginary friend.

But the truth is, in this universe there is no justice.

This is a wild jungle.

And when you let the Tiger get you, you are going to become a nice meal, and the tiger will get a little bit more happy and fat, thanks to you.

Evil people might not survive too well, but what is the difference after all from a thief and the person that was robbed?

One goes in jail, may be, or is home happy watching the sunday game with your TV, while you are working extra hours to get a new one.

He is having fun and you are sad and sweating working.

The guy kills your kid. Yes he might be in jail and it is definitely not nice, but what about the father?

He is devastated and living an awful life.

The industrialist might steal your money, he might be unhappy but he is unhappy driving a jaguar, while you are unhappy taking the bus.

He is unhappy having 30 million dollars in his bank account and eating caviar while you are unhappy starving for a meal.

Do those feel guilty?

No for the majority of time. A deaf, will not hear no matter how loud you shout. He does not perceive sounds.

In his universe he has done no wrong, because he does not have a concept of others.

There is no happiness in any side.

And to believe that something or someone will bring justice, it becomes a trap, where sometimes you avoid taking responsibility of your own life and of the people close to you  because you tell yourself that the “bad” will not do well, and life will automatically punish the criminal and award the “good”.

God does not pay on saturday, nor on sunday or monday…

This universe does not bring justice at all.

Justice is just foreign to this world, ethic is something that doesn’t belong to this universe being the 10th dynamic of existence.

The best way to have justice is making sure that injustice does not occur.

What is happiness after all?

It is the result of an applied ability to keep criminals out of our way, to protect our own rights, to know that  no matter what, every time we allow someone to step on us and to hurt us, we have given away a moment of our happiness that will never come back.

Is the ability to choose true friend and people who are working to enhance our survival when they make choices toward improving theirs.

You get eaten by the tiger because you let her catch you and the tiger will not die because has eaten you. Not at all, will actually enjoy that to your sorrow.

She will eventually die, but it does not have anything to do with you.

Will happen when she will make her own mistake, unless you start some action and cause that to happen sooner.

But nothing will do it for you, just by itself.

It is a tough universe and any advice or solution which sees you at effect, it is just another way to control you.


Silvia Kusada

is an OT7,  GAT class VI (SHSBC), FLAG trained class 5, class IV C/S

admin trained on OEC vol 0 and vol 7 and a permanent Ethic Specialist gold seal.

feel free to contact her at:


  1. Please continue sharing your thoughts. You’re helping so many people with ARC as we share the same reality. I’m blowing much charge here. I’m not alone anymore. I guess people in the church are reading and get true data. You deserve a big commendation for speaking out.
    Wiseman (from inside the church)

  2. Justice is where a group puts ethics in opn an individual. Once should not expect justice from the MEST universe. The MEST universe does not think or reason or decide. If anything it is one giant bank in which we are all situate. A sort of Matrix if youo will.

    Justice can only come from individuals. Sometimes people equate individual with the MEST universe and lump them all together. Others have a big misunderstanding on what justice is and consider it is “being fair”.

    The best way to ‘have’ justice is to keep one’s own ethics IN. A subject in itself of course.

    But i don’t think one can compare one individual woith another ‘justice’ wise. Each individual has their own track, their own experience, own tone level, indeed, own havingness level, not to mention own responsibility level. So comparing one individual with another is like comparing apples and oranges. it does not make any sense.

    And so comparisons such as people make on such levels rarely make sense also.

    Comparing how one is with how one was, and if one is making improvements or enhancements in ones own spiritual journey are probably, I feel, more productive for the individual.


    • unfortunately, there are no many proofs, for now. There will be. people are getting smarter and start to collect them.

      Soon or later they will get what they deserve. They are working very hard on that.

  3. Hi Silvia
    I am concerned that you seem to be descending into a dwindling spiral of negativity. Of course, this happens to all of us from time to time; but, sooner or later, we come back up again. My advice, for what it’s worth, is not to focus on negatives, because they will only expand. I believe one has to make a conscious effort to focus on positives, so that they increase. Seek help from your close friends; try to refrain from self-pity.
    Adrienne and I find that tiredness is the great enemy, because things always look worse. So my immediate recommendation is that you must get plenty of sleep, whatever it takes (cannabis is good) and make sure you eat well. Only then will you have the energy to deal with your situation.
    Please let us know if we can help in any way.
    With our love, Robin & Adrienne

    • Yes, at times I feel this pain and sadness is lasting to long and is wearing me out.
      I’m searching from truth, I have to say that i’m improving in many areas but I haven’t got rid of the pain.
      The life with the red pill is not as attractive as the illusion one, but at least is real. I guess i’m on search of truth… i want it no matter how difficult ends up to be living it.
      Thank you for caring. I really appreciate and feel your theta.

  4. I like how you write Sylvia, your words paint my thoughts and experiences very closely. I always get wins, or a connection when you write. Dont stop. Sometimes when I think of what happened to me and my last straw in the ‘church’ it really takes me down, sometimes anger bubbles up. Sometimes, I think yea, the ‘church’ deserves my X. I was just on facebook tonight looking at names of people I know that disconnected from me. It’s a cell, like in PTS/SP course, like kind, criminals sticking together. They KNOW we are feeling this way. They want us to feel this way. Dont let them win. We still got the tech. We can still move forward. Lov, Deb

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