To whom, like me, is looking for a true ‘home’…

I used to wake up every day smiling with great joy in my heart, every single day.

No matter what, I was always happy and grateful to live. I looked many times at people with problems and depression and I could not duplicate them.

I just couldn’t even imagine why a person would not be able to smile.

I had many problems myself. A violent father, a mother that couldn’t love me for some reasons only known to God, but this did not matter.

Every day I was opening my eyes to the world with enthusiasm.

I would never think I would find myself down in the dark hole of pain.

Now I understand… i started to understarstand why people are upset, how they feel.

I understand how unreal it can be to people who have never being there…

In these  sad moments people can tell you about future and happiness but the only thing you feel is pain and degradation. Such a strong pain that it exhaust you. The reason is so powerful and deep rooted is that is getting his heavy charge from past implants.

Love and understanding are the best way to get somebody back.

Finding your ‘family’ is another important step.

But what is ‘family’?

Many of us never really had one, others were so lucky to have one,

even if they took it for granted.

Family, is a place where you feel safe,

where no matter what you are loved.

Where you know you can disagree or have a bad day

and you are loved and respected despite of that.

Is a place where you know you want to flow all this love back.

I always wanted one. 😀

This morning I woke up at Aida’s place.

Again, after so long I feel love everywhere… I felt home.

This woman has so much love and care like very few.

I think she needs to be acknowledge for that, because, she also have been attacked unjustly, and 3rd partied.

But I can tell you, she is part of my new family.

Sometimes you need to really look, who is behind the huge by passed charge, the unhandled upsets and the abuses.

There are wonderful people who are struggling to get out of it like many of you and I.

When I hear people saying: “I do not want to have anything to do with her/him because they are just upset…” I know that they do not look. They are unable to love because they are too busy judging and fighting their own charge.

Inability to grant beigness is an indicator of  charge.

But if you are able to go behind the appearance, you will discover the most beautiful beings.

What I’m looking for?

I’m looking for people who like me believe in love, in honesty.

They know that they can be there for each other no matter what, and will never let go of their family.

People that need a family and are wondering where their family members are.

I tell you where we are… spread all over.

Some of us are so discouraged that are closed in themselves hopeless, some other look and look like me.

This comm is dedicated to all of you.

I hope in one way or another it can reach you and we can find each other. Create together a world that we have always believe it should exist.

The trick to flourishing and prospering is being with your true group, spiritually wise, means being at home.

Where people are always happy to see you and you always happy to see them. It is a beautiful world.

Lets find each other… 😀


Silvia Kusada

Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 7.



  1. Hi, Silvia. Sounds like a great home. Sign me up. Will you be at the independents party on the 4th? I will. 🙂 Hope to see you there.

    I wrestled with very deep depression for a large part of my life. I only broke free of it, really in about 2005. I won’t say every day is a winner, or that magic infuses every minute, but I have many more good days than bad, now, and I have come to terms with myself.

    Many people put on a false front of happiness, and adopt the attitude of “fake it ’til you make it”. Sometimes this helps them to do better on the job, or to at least avoid people being too sympathetic. A person who is depressed might not feel that great, but a lot of attention from people is not always what they need, and in fact, can be very uncomfortable. It’s a common misunderstanding that such people are “just seeking attention”, “drama queens”, that sort of thing. Very often, nothing could be further from the truth. Most depressed people would rather never be seen again. Hiding out, avoiding communication, having difficulty confronting ANY attention at all, these things are common for depressed people.

    It’s good that you are showing people that despite your obvious charisma and power, you can also admit that depression can affect you. There is no shame in it. You are right that people often cannot understand it until they’ve been there. I hope most people never have to go there, but if they do, I hope they have friends like you to listen to them, understand them, not judge them, and be their friend. I thank you for being in my life.

    • Yes, you are so right in so many points.
      There were many times that I just wished I could melt away and disappear… I did not need the compassion or the criticisms. I did not want the feeling to be pushed away because I was not at time best… or unwanted… This all added up to more pain.
      But I recognize the fact that amongst the many doors slammed or gently closed at me with a fake smile, I have found some very special friends… The last Aida and her husband David saved literally my life.
      Mrs Ramos, at the Burbank family center was also of great help. Nothing to do with the horror movies character depicted in the IAS promotional clips.
      She was compassioned, full of love, willing to listen and duplicate without evaluating in any way.
      I was really please to know that you can actually get this great help from the City.
      I enjoy comm like yours. I think you will be a terminal for others and if each of us do that we can help a lot of people.
      The real danger are not the Psychs. You know what they do and you are prepearred.
      The real enemies are those groups or people instead, that seem positive and full of life, but at the end the only life they have is the one they suck from others people…
      Their effects are so damaging case wise.

  2. Beautiful, Silvia. Or.. beautiful Silvia! I got the point about how charge is in a way of ability to grant beingness. Perfect!

  3. Thank you, Silvia. This really spoke to me. I’m on the opposite end of the bridge from you, just having started, and don’t have the experiences you have had. But I have also struggled with the idea of having a “home” and family. I’m on the discouraged side, but I do think I’ve managed to move into the condition of hope, and I hope that will take me where I want to be in time. In any case, I’m so glad you’ve found your family and home, and I hope someday that our paths can cross and I could be a part of that. I’ve gotten so much charge from your writings.

    • Dear friend,
      thank you for your comm. I’m glad you went up on your hope factor… you see we are in comm now! 😀
      i’m happy to know you are starting the bridge… the more you go up the more fun it gets… and the more you realize that no matter what after every good session your future is never going to be the same…

      Since I was a little girl i was dreaming to have a very big house so all the people I loved they could just come and stay with me.
      I still want that very very much 😀

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