‘You must be evil because you are not rejoicing at my successes’ they tell you after they just finished to cut you into ribbons.

A society full of dichotomies:

Truth and lies, love and hates… In ‘the name of truth’ they say to cover lies, ‘in the name of love’ when the intention is hate…

My ex (E.) and the church…  used the same methods.
Holding you to a beautiful dream, making you work out of your way for the group (him/them) for a future reward that never comes, and when you are exhausted, tired and feel you did your best to please them and you are indeed very up-stat there is no time for acknowledgments, instead you get brutally hit! Slammed!
You are told that now you are not needed anymore since you are down-stat because you made a tiny imaginary mistake or because you are now not doing more… or not embracing some new activity in their favor.
There are some people or group that punish anyone that ‘rebels’
or ask for some exchange.
‘You must be evil because you are not rejoicing at my successes’ they tell you  after they just finished to cut you into ribbons. After they stripped you from the last bit of dignity and took away everything you got.
They are expecting you to be there and cheer for them for their new beautiful shoes, for they new car… while you trying to patch up the open cut on your chest!
Their sense of reality is so bad off that they walk in a paddle
of blood thinking it is a beautiful green grass.
Their recall of you has nothing to do with the huge amount of supporting and sweats you did put toward their survival, nothing to do with the knife they just stubbed on your back.
In their recall there is a beautiful sky, people cheering to their greatness, and you ‘antagonistic’ shouting with the evil intent to destroy their joy.
They recal a time they lend you a hand to help you to get up (after they crash you down) and they tell you how ungrateful you are not acknowledging how nice they were to help.
They do not see the blood on their hands, their betrayal.
They do not see the knife they just dipped into your back, they only see that there is blood coming from you and damn you! you are staining their white carpet and ruining the party with their new friends.
“You see you have been replaced because you were ‘bad’!’
You have to be eliminated because you by rebelling are reminding them of whom they are, you are covering with your sad sound the beautiful music of the birds.
It is a slowly implanted  feeling of degradation and nullification.
Something  camouflaged since the very beginning
by a pretense of freedom and love.
It is a huge thing to overcome, if you have experience it.
We should acknowledge ourselves if we still able to smile!!
If should consider ourself very special being if we made it out.
Look how many others are still trapped! Smiling while hiding their feeling of fear.
I consider my healing another miracle of the Tech of L. Ron Hubbard.
Ot 7 and OT 8 have saved my life.
I’m out of this bad dream. I exteriorized from that sick game.

I looked and said. OMG! it is not that I wasnt good for him/them.
The truth was they were not good for me!
I wanted truth, true love, loyalty and commitment. I wanted a group!
In words we wanted the same things.
In the real world, they only wanted those things in a one way flow. From you to them.
That is the only flow they actually know. And they know that you should feel happy to serve and quietly obey.
I guess this is the independent week!!
and we should celebrate.
We might ended up with scars and tears, we might have experience the most horrendous pain that betrayals bring about,
but after all WE ARE FREE!
and we are ALIVE!

And when I say ALIVE I do not refer to bodies!

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!


Silvia Kusada

Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 7.





  1. Hi Silvia:

    Wherever you are on the 4 of July I wish you the best! Happy Independence day my friend!

  2. Hi my friend!
    May you have a very happy 4 of July wherever you are…we should celebrate indeed!

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