Winning in life after “leaving $cientology”.

After nearly 15 years full-time on the bridge,

having given up my successful publishing business

to devote my life to Spiritual growth,

to master the tech to help others by becoming an auditor

and in order to support my group,

I found myself barred from any further spiritual gains



... losing what you care the most because you dare to say what you see.


because I openly disagreed with the Church of $ money motivated campaigns

(IAS, IDEAL Orgs) and cause I fought the different ways

used by the Church of $,

to stop parishioners from going up the Bridge

(prearranged loans from Church staffs for donations of 50.000.

euros or more to IAS, ideal orgs and libraries donations

(people would take a lifetime to pay these off, leaving no more money for training and auditing),

cancelling special schedule, forcing everyone

to enroll on side courses not related to the Grade Chard, and more…).


I really wanted to become a class VIII before leaving,

but at one point I got hit so hard by out-tech,

suppression and threatened by both tech terminals and MAAs,

that I realized I could not be part of something which,

under the name of Scientology,

was mind controlling and at the same time altering

and destroying the true spirit of the Church

as originally realized by the Founder.

I was in emotional pain, my life crashed.



... instead of finding a lonely, sad world full of crime as the Church of $ told me, I found true friends, Standard Tech and the OT gains I always aimed for...


I left.

I can now see how leaving the Church of $, saved my life

and gave me back my bridge, and actually much more than that.

I found in the IND fields standard Tech (LRH)…

I attested to OT7 and I’m now mid OT8.

I KNOW that I’m a long way past

what the New OT8’s have in the Church of $.

We do not care about status out here,

but real OT abilities and gains.



Telepathy is only one of the abilities achieved...


The OT’s (in the Church of $) are kept on a leash and in the dark.

Who would want them to be free beings, after all?

… it would be such a liability as they would know.

And not only that, the Church of $ would lose

their source of repeat income

calculating that their public pay a minimum of $7,400

for an intensive of sec checks and review every six months.

I entered a new life.





It is also important to say

that I can solo audit every day like

I’m doing now as an OT8 thanks to the knowledge

and skills obtained on my training (SHSBC),

so I advise people to get to work…

the reward is beyond expectation.



.... miracles happen.



I audit on solo every single day with unbelievable wins.

As an OT 8 you have so much to audit and to gain…

and it is free and safe, because you have a team to work with you,

true friends.


a word from

Elisabeth Hamre:

To walk the walk

of Solo Auditor.


For Elisabeth Hamre full article:





After auditing in the C of Scientology I was broke:

then, after I left, I stepped outside into the blue sky

and recovered my sense of fun and spirit of play.



(...) In 1970 I found a brilliant Philosophy - Scientology. It worked. It was direct, it was fun, full of spirit and adventure -



it delivered all that had been promised

and I avidly digested it all – training and auditing.

I soon had completed a co-audit on my grades.

I did the Clearing Course.

By 1975 I was Clear and trained up CL IV.

I continued and was keenly and looking forward to ascending further OT levels. I finished OT 3 in 1982…

Then … something happened ..

The levels I wanted, and which were next

on the Bridge according to LRH,

were no-more, not available – zapped – forbidden –

and nothing in writing from anyone to be seen,

let alone from
Ron – only an absence of writing.

Simply gone. OT 3 Expanded, OT 4, OT 5, OT 6 AND OT 7 had simply

and silently evaporated in 1982.

What to do?  Well there was “new OT4, 5, 6, and 7”.

As a public – I had no data and few options.

So far my experience up the Bridge had been a glorious rocket ride –

my life had flourished and was going along in most agreeable way!

The people I knew in CofS were saying do the “new”.

So I proceeded with the new.

The “new” did bring smiles to my face, and at the time was great.

Having proceeded along the Bridge, easily in fact,

it was now getting difficult.

Strangely enough from 1988 my life collapsed,

I had troubles, all sorts of difficulties.

Then things would calm down..

Then I’d think – ok – time for
the next level – and All Hell would break loose again.

It did not simply destimulate.

I had awakened I knew not what!!

But awake it was – and it damn well had teeth.

I was penniless, divorced, in Ethics and living in a foreign
city (admittedly that was Paris :0) – I was not totally dead!!).

By 1997 I had scrapped together enough

for an intensive of “new ot 5”.

So I had an intensive.. of “Eligibility”. Turns out I was “In-Eligible”.

I had been a bit tardy with the Tax Returns.

After a year and various other wounds and further blood

I found my self taking an unauthorized weekend off study

and staff to help my son.

I was standing on the brink.

I took a day or two to catch my breath.

And I jumped .. into peace.

I had a lifetimes worth of many gains.

But 1988 to 1999 had been, Scientolgically, in hind sight, a nightmare.

Next lifetime I would take it up again.

The phones now stopped ringing,

I stopped screening my incoming phone calls.

Ah – the sky turned blue, birds sang again :0))

They had been singing all along –




but I had been so PTP’d by the CofS I could see nothing else.

But something was still trying to chew me up too…

So: In 2003 I thought, I’m not going yet! Why wait – I need to do something now – so I looked on the internet –

Wow – Pandora’s Box !!

And some guys  with Standard Scientology Tech.

How could this be?

“Everyone knows” :0) only the CofS can adjudicate

what is an instant read or even an FN…

I had witnessed many times even senior c of s tech terminals (and admin staff) arguing amongst themselves while “judging” some intern on his videos.

I had witnessed many times even senior C of S tech terminals

(and admin staff) arguing amongst themselves

while “judging” some intern on his videos.

If it takes 3 or 4 people 10 mins and several backwards

and forwards with the video tape to work it out –

how the hell could these “SPs” do it –

yet here were success stories and the like. Hmmm?
I sat back and lurked for a year.

On review of the scene – there were many successful people

who had hung out their single practice sign

and were making a living out of Grades, Nots etc, delivery –

But there were none training anyone much, that I could see.

Only one group had anything like a network of orgs

set up for both sides of the bridge.

While you can get to OT with a lot of auditing

and a little solo training…

you’ll be mostly alone for eternity.

So in 2004 I jumped again – Into Ron’s Organisation

and Network for Standard Tech – Ron’s Org.

I went to Frankfurt and was met by a group

of very happy OTs. (…) I was home again!

I received some auditing and got going on my next OT level (…)

And during the coming year I pulled many “teeth”

that had been snapping at me –

that was the end of the dental work (:0)

that had been stirred up, but not handled in the cofs.



I now had a great group of friends, actual Scientologists, practising Scientology as I knew it from "before 1982" in PT.



Here were people from across the world – all with the goal of Clear Earth.

I’d not of heard that in the CofS since the 1970s!

It seems the CofS has since 1982 steadily turned Ron’s aspirations

into an expensive social club where people cannot even

speak their minds because it will cost them hours and hours of “interviews”.

To those people in the cofs or even teetering on the edge:

Don’t become an elitist group.

Don’t be the “only ones”.

Step outside into the blue sky

and recover you sense of fun and spirit of play.

(…) . It’s a PR World – you have been PRed.

The majority of Earth’s population, and the rest of the universe,

are depending on you and us to wake them up

before the Long Dark Shades of Night do cover us all up…

Oh Shit – that’s already been deleted

from your splendidly pretty PDC CDs (Ref PDC 20) hasn’t it?

(…)  LOL.

I would like to thank the cofs Execs of Brighton Org (…).

And also, Look! – Listen to the LRH lecture “Scientology and Effective
Knowledge” – Follow LRH’s advice –

Learn to look in the direction that is forbidden!!





Some guys are stuck with an enforced overt havingness of buildings

and MEST.  Who “gave” you that?




Ron’s Organisation Bristol




Leaving the Church I gained freedom

and with that the ability to think for myself

for the first time.


The freedom I found when leaving the Church was the ability to think for myself for the first time.


I think for someone who had spent their entire life

in Scientology like myself,

true freedom to really appreciate the tech came upon leaving.

I do not profess to be a Scientologist

or even an Independent Scientologist.

I take those pieces of Scientology that have truth for me

and use them to this day.

The freedom I found when leaving the Church

was the ability to think for myself for the first time.

When someone has the ability to look, compare,

and decide about something,

rather than being told that this is the “only way”

one can then see it for what it really is.

Being able to read about other religions and philosophies

I gained a far greater and broader understanding of Scientology

and the many universal truths of which it is comprised.





and this morning I got a nice surprise from a very special being:


“Hi Silvia, good morning.

I would like if you publish my e-mail on your blog,

I would like that very much and it would make me happy.

[10:34:22 AM]

*** Stefano R.

sent Success  on Life Repair.docx ***

“Ciao, my name is Stefano and I’m an Italian PC,

I started my Life Repair a month ago with Silvia, my auditor.

Since than my life has improved, and I feel much better.

I was stuck on the bridge since a while

and my hope to make it this life was lost.

I’m now progressing after what it did seem to me, a very long time,

stopped and immobilized by arbitraries.

I feel very lucky to have met Silvia

because she is a very skilled auditor, she is full of ARC, and care.

She applies LRH’s Standard Tech.



I'm now progressing after what it did seem to me, a very long time, stopped and immobilized by arbitraries.


Thanks to her

my life is now improving,

I found my ruin,

ruin that was stopping me from progressing.

My Thanks to Silvia!

Infinite ARC,









we are here to help!!



If you are still in the church as staff or as public and you need help to get out, if you just left and you need help, please call or write to:


Silvia  Kusada  e-mail:


Aida Thomas: e-mail:


contact Aida Thomas in private.



Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 8.





  1. That was a fantastic run down of your journey to a better spiritual place. I didn’t realize you had been out of church for so long. I to was in the church for 20 years and did to class 5 and OT5 but always wondered where were all those processes I read about in the early books ,that created real OT abilities. Now I know that they were the Old OT4,5,6 and 7 {technical degrade }. I had heard stories of old OT7’s that could move object by intention but this is no longer part of the church.
    I have a few questions for you. I live in Australia so have no access to a Rons Org and I am doing solo in Elisabeth’s footsteps ,I did some good sessions on valences yesterday, thanks to you both. My question is does the formal OT7 really need to be done? An OT7 has told me that it is on concerned with clearing out the body which seems a bit tedious and introverting to me. I am having good progress doing what I am doing I just have this question.
    Keep up the good work.

    • Peter, thank you for writing and for progressing on your auditing.

      WELL DONE!!

      OT 7 is not about Clearing the body, that OT7 has a big MU, and it will not take him very far…
      I loved every single bit of my OT7. I would do it standardly, and it is a gradient.
      You will handle enough “case” to be able that to handle massive charge later. You do not want to get into over-restimulations.

      Study the Solo Not’s tech and applied it. You will get stronger and stronger (theta wise) You have the advantage of not getting back C/Sing, or invalidations like it happens in the Church of $. o you should do very well.

      Elisabeth is an exceptional woman… I myself treasure her experience and guidance.

    • Hello Peter,

      I like your reply.
      It would be great if you could send me your emailadress or phonenumber.
      Thus we could support you with the CSing. Erica is Senior CS to most of the Ron`s Orgs around the planet and a really wonderful CS. We at the Ron`s Org Bern are five fulltime staffs that love to help fellow thetans over the Bridge. More details under

      We also deliver the original OT7, if it`s needed and wanted. But of course a CS should be tailor made to your situation. The best is you get in contact with Max directly and find a optimal solution with him. Max is the Chairman of the Ron`s Org Committee and the CO of our Org and a very nice person. You can call us under 0041 31 964 06 66 or send him an email

      My email is:

      Love from Switzerland

  2. To be audited in session or to solo audit, dose not matter, since both do accomplish the same As-is the negative, free us from our narrow vision, understanding. I dont even wish to call that negative since I have different reality. The sessions erase the considerations, the agreements which one has. Simply in session the barriers fall away, which are the stops on ” to be cause over” and knowledge moves in. I do believe we all have knowledge but no understanding of. The cognations gives the being of understanding, the old capabilities dusted of in sessions which are now have true meaings. THe NEW BEINGs which evoleves from the old self who comes out of sessons, is something totaly new in the Universe. This beings, OT’S, not only know self in and out, but the WHY’s the HOW’s the understanding the nature of the MEST, By having the barriers, the considerations, the agreements arrased This new beings have regained the lost abilities now, become Cause Over the MEST UNIVERSE. I think that is a very wothwile reason to be audited or to Solo for. Only auditing can accoplish such on incradible feat. The Knowledge of the Scientolodiest is superior [ hate to use that word, ubove, better, different, not the same, unlike, distinct, separate, individual,not relating, pick your own word. ] Once we leave the planes of the implants there is all there to have back, our dreams, which we have belived there should be and much much more since we have forgatten the magical qualities of the,spirituasl Univese. As we wonder in wonder in the Universe we realise we are just starting out. Babes who are learning to walk. The knowledge out there is so different in reality from ours it is astounding. Example. I like a little maple syrup in my coffee, my visitor was looking over my shoulder as I was making it, I call her Little One. I have taken a little lick of the syrup by it self since I love the taste and she wanted to know Why do I drink of the blood of the tree, and later in the evening before i go to bed she wanted to know why do I soak the dead body of a plant and drink it. That was camomile. Regardless what ever the realities in the Universe are. We who have as-is ed the MEST Universe have the supperion knowledge because we can confront, and take responsibility for our doing-nes. So, what can I say, for the ones who never have given up, or given in, who walk the path of knowledge. All your wish your desire will be yours. that is the revards for the fun one has on the path of undertanding. The joy of being is sessions!! The trill to know the Why’;s and the How’s!!

  3. Lissette Marques writes:

    “I met some of the most sincerely nice people in the “wog” world once I woke up. After that, I couldn’t stand the feigned or worked at “ARC” I kept getting from C of $.

    It made the true reality much clearer for me and gave me something to look forward to cultivating in my new life.”


    Tory Christman:

    Me too! It was one of THE biggest shocks in my life. I’d been told, for 30 years, about the “evil media, evil, bad “wogs” etc. Then to leave—and just meet person after person, super amazingly nice (Ok, not ALL—-but the majority, for me)….has been fantastic! ♥ to you, Silvia 🙂
    Yesterday at 8:52am

    Charles Wildbank:
    THat is what I noticed also. Once I exited, it was as if I was entering paradise, a world of bliss.

    Gary Hart:
    I could not agree with Silvia’s blog more. The world outside C of S is exciting and full of everything we ever looked for insiide C of S and more, much more. Exciting new friends, the abilitiy to discuss things using our rights to free speech. OT wins beyond anything we receive while in the Church, rich, expanding and alive tech and much more!!


    Richard La Motta:
    The most wonderful and caring and professional person I have met is not a Scientologist. She is so full of wisdom and is helping me so incredibly, unlikde the C of S and those nice people who were relatives or really close friends but whose minds each has a C of S straight jscket wraooed very tughtkly around them. Was telling her how I was always into saving the world and all that. She simply told me the world doesn’t need saving. And she is so right. It’s a matter of choosing a game and playing tha game for as long as one wants to play and enjoy it. I don’t regret what I gained from Scientology. I am very glad to have learned Scientology and it is an incredible way of thinking and an incredible way of knowing which I accomplished. But there are games being played out there that do not include Scientology but which can be a ton of fun. The ruin that brought me into Scientology was in the area of love. Church of Scientology never solved that in the 20 plus years I was involved. But now I am discovering the power of love. Now that’s what I call fun!

    Charles Wildbank:
    Yes, no one needs saving. How can you sell immortality to immortals???
    3 hours ago · Unlike · 1 person

  5. Hi Silvia. Nice blog post and I’m happy for you that you are winning in life 🙂

    I also had many wins from most of my Auditing and training (I did not get past receiving Quad Grades.). Got to where Level 1 would have been my next training step.

    Even though I do not see any real ‘Clears’ in terms of the way ron describes it in the dn book, nor have I seen any real Pre-OT’s or even OT VIII’s that were worth upwards of $300,000.00 and putting it above your family, freedom, etc.

    I DID like some of the basic things I learned while in scn. (ARC, STCC, Assists, even O/W write ups and the Conditions, etc.).

    Once in a while, I miss these things in my life and think about maybe using some of these tools again. (whether purely or even adding my own twist to them).

    But I cannot.

    I have SO much charge on the whole subject, now, and with all the upsets and things, since leaving Staff and Co$, etc. I just get a sour taste in my mouth and never use any of it.

    But I’ve NEVER been against someone improving their lives, gaining real relief and abilities using whatever they feel like using. 🙂

    I LOVED helping people through Auditing and the deep gratitude shining from their eyes, tells me they also appreciated what I did for them. It did NOT feel wrong. I did NOT feel like I was ‘brainwashing’ them. They did NOT walk out the door like some zombie or anything like that.

    They left smiling, feeling relief. Thanking me from the bottom of their hearts. And my heart would melt too. Each and every time.

    That all being said, I’m glad for those experiences. I’m also glad I’ve left Co$, and scn, too. For me, I have found that scn is NOT the ONLY way to ‘salvation’ or ‘freedom’. In my opinion, there are other Authors out there who have valuable life-improving information, as well. I no longer think we have to be on any ‘right path’, nor ‘reach any goal’ to sacrifice your own life, health, wealth, love, family, children, job, etc. for.

    Since leaving scn, I’ve found the most important things in my life: relationships, my children and grandchildren, my health and happiness. And that’s what I’m enjoying and working on enhancing! 🙂


    • Thank you so much for writing. I have fully duplicated what you said.
      I’m so happy you doing well, help others and enjoy your family 😀 Very well done for this!!

      On the other hand, I would suggest you, but this is just my opinion, at one point to handle that charge with somebody you trust… just to let things flow away and never get stuck on it again… 😀 that is what truly allows people to leave.

      lots of love to you.

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