My last post: Addition.

My last post: Addition.

In Sicily few years ago crying at a funeral was actually a paid profession. These women in black were not just crying, they were screaming with pain. The more important the person was considered the more crying and shouting was required.


My last post did alarm people who read it with a Mest view-point.

They got worried about my body.

The instantly assumed that all my solo auditing did not work.

They have no understanding of the theta universe and his relation to this universe.

They have no much reality of the spiritual universe in the first place.  They wish to be OT because to them to be OT means to be happy and without problems.

There is nothing further away from truth.

They have a very low confront of their case and of evil.

Being OT means you have abilities and sometimes more awareness.

You have more Power. This is all.

You have more power to do good or evil and to play different games.

A game is not a game without opponents and barriers.

If they wish to have more reality they should re-watch Star wars

the good guys and the bad guys..

A humanoid cannot even conceive the degree of suppression

existing at the beginning of the track. 

The degree is such that only a true OT can confront it and even for him is tough…

you going through hell.

But going through hell does not mean you are not OT,

means you are going through hell as an OT.

People on lower tones and of lower awareness cannot duplicate that.

They look at you and say:

“What kind of OT is that?”- “Look he is OT and he is more fucked up then me!”- “If by becoming OT you end up like that, I’m not interested”.-

When I hear this comments I know, these people are stuck in a MEST trap. 

 They have no clue of who they are and of what is going on.

Yes, I might have wished many times to kill myself,

actually to be precise, this GE did,

but this does not mean I’m not having successes with my soloing

 and that I’m in a bad shape. My GE is.

It is normal when you are entering into stuff and you take them apart.

Do not be alarmed. I’m a tough being and in this universe or another I’m going to be fine…

I’m not going to stop.

I’m going to cry as loud as its needed,

to fight, sometimes to lose.

But i will get up and re-try.

 I’m not interested on playing safe…

I want my freedom. 

 The ‘tropical Jungle’ is quite a challenge to cross.

Hope this clarify things better.

You do not need to be concerned for me…

I’m getting out of here, I’m struggling on my way out this trap.

Those silent, perfectly “happy” people

are the one you should be concerned about.

They are just stuck, they cannot even feel anything.

They are “dead thetans”, at least I’m alive.

I do prefer to suffer than to be dead

(I’m talking from a spiritual view-point of course)

Love and many thanks to all my great many friends.



Playing a game that no longer exist

Playing a game that no longer exist

I wanted to write a nice happy article

but my blog is not about PR, it is about life.

So, I decided to tell you how I feel, despite the fact that some of you can be disappointed.

I have been waking up in the morning with so much grief to make a lake out of a desert.

I feel very tired of this lingering mental pain, feeling of desperation

and this earth game of which I do not belong.

 The pain, the grief does not belong to me anymore,

but it affects me due to my connection with this body.

 This Genetic Entity still dealing with its promise of loyalty and eternity

to a man who does not exist anymore

and in that promises thrive loss and desperation.

Life for my GE has ended the day my ex with strong hate strangled it and left.

It’s recovery is extremely slow and it feels like a pure mental torture.


I have often my eyes full of tears, but this doesn’t kill me,

at the contrary, when able to get it out, does make me feel better.


To have Lupo with  his love and enthusiasm is priceless.


The way he jumps on me in the morning to lick my face,

his passion for life just lights up my day.

I bless the day we met.


I took some hormones pills few days ago, under my sister’s advice.

I tell you because I know some of you might be dealing with a body related problem

which can influence life.

I took these hormones pills and I felt better.

She was right, my body entered in a  pre-menopause and needed some help

I felt better that day. That crazy sadness been gone.

Nothing else changed, not my viewpoint or my intentions.

I was feeling really good. Like a sudden beautiful silence.

 I’m always key-out and exterior and this time,

without the feeling of desperation and pain.

It suddenly became so clear that all this time,

 I was giving myself wrong indications

 by thinking all this stuff was mine.

The following day I went in a short trip in the desert.


What do you see? No, not with your open eyes.

 Close them please! What do you see?


There is a suffering souls tortured by a dead body.

Not the same picture, eh?

But we better stop to get us fooled by the appearance of life…


Some people who are aware of the abuses I went through by my ex

and the church advised me to seek revenge.

What they do not understand is that it  is not anymore about them.

It is about me.

How I can rid of this monster that has been awakened

and that has killed this Genetic Entity?


Genetic Entity:

GENETIC ENTITY, 1. that beingness not dissimilar to the thetan

which has carried forward and developed the body from its

earliest moments along the evolutionary line on earth and

which, through experience, necessity and natural selection, has

employed the counter-efforts of the environment to fashion an

organism of the type best fitted for survival, limited only by the

abilities of the genetic entity.
The goal of the genetic entity is survival on a much grosser plane of materiality.
(Scn 8-8008, p.8)

by L. Ron Hubbard

How can I help this GE to recover faster and to rise higher on the tone scale

 so as to not affect me so much?

If I do not handle this GE I have to let her go. Too much entheta.

When I feel really down to let go of her it feels the best solution,

 when I feel better I know without doubts that to find out how to get her out of there

will benefit, not only my future, but the future of the many

that behind their beautiful or less beautiful appearance are dying too.

When in my past lives I have found myself in this condition

my solutions have been to suicide,

enter into a hospital or when lucky, I have been found by a guy able to recognize

 my spiritual beauty beyond my agony that with true compassion

and endless unselfish love took care of me.


This life is different, this time I do not wish to run way.

I do not believe in forgetting or putting aside

and I want to go at the bottom of this.

I have the knowledge and ability to help any spiritual being to heal,

but not a genetic entity in such a state of depression.


As every counter survival group, also 1.1 people use agreements to trap.

 They get you to promise loyalty,

and that promises are each of them little locks

to the group (that being a marriage, or a club).

You are willing to give up everything for a team that only exist apparently, in your illusion…

and to whom you are nothing more that a cogwheel or a slave.

But you made agreements and to you and to any decent person

an agreement can be more important than your own life.

So you get trapped by your own agreement and when it is time to leave

 they are just chains, unbreakable chains.

They keep you in a game that no longer exist

or of which you are considered nothing more than a cancer cell,

a cell  of unwanted truth in a system of lies and abuses.

Injustice is one of the surest ways

to destroy psychologically a being.

There is no way you can end any cycle in this universe

or with the Mest universe

till some of your attention units still in it.

In order to leave you have to give up all these precious agreements

you are willy or nilly holding onto.

This, I wish to remind you, is a very different action then forgetting.


When you forget something that is charged

(painful to you)

you have just buried that charge

and all the failed agreements connected to it 

and with it,

your ability to exteriorize and to leave.




If you need help to get out of the Church of $cientology

or if you just left and need help, please call or write to:




Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 8.


  • May 2011
    M T W T F S S
  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 111 other followers