Playing a game that no longer exist

Playing a game that no longer exist

I wanted to write a nice happy article

but my blog is not about PR, it is about life.

So, I decided to tell you how I feel, despite the fact that some of you can be disappointed.

I have been waking up in the morning with so much grief to make a lake out of a desert.

I feel very tired of this lingering mental pain, feeling of desperation

and this earth game of which I do not belong.

 The pain, the grief does not belong to me anymore,

but it affects me due to my connection with this body.

 This Genetic Entity still dealing with its promise of loyalty and eternity

to a man who does not exist anymore

and in that promises thrive loss and desperation.

Life for my GE has ended the day my ex with strong hate strangled it and left.

It’s recovery is extremely slow and it feels like a pure mental torture.


I have often my eyes full of tears, but this doesn’t kill me,

at the contrary, when able to get it out, does make me feel better.


To have Lupo with  his love and enthusiasm is priceless.


The way he jumps on me in the morning to lick my face,

his passion for life just lights up my day.

I bless the day we met.


I took some hormones pills few days ago, under my sister’s advice.

I tell you because I know some of you might be dealing with a body related problem

which can influence life.

I took these hormones pills and I felt better.

She was right, my body entered in a  pre-menopause and needed some help

I felt better that day. That crazy sadness been gone.

Nothing else changed, not my viewpoint or my intentions.

I was feeling really good. Like a sudden beautiful silence.

 I’m always key-out and exterior and this time,

without the feeling of desperation and pain.

It suddenly became so clear that all this time,

 I was giving myself wrong indications

 by thinking all this stuff was mine.

The following day I went in a short trip in the desert.


What do you see? No, not with your open eyes.

 Close them please! What do you see?


There is a suffering souls tortured by a dead body.

Not the same picture, eh?

But we better stop to get us fooled by the appearance of life…


Some people who are aware of the abuses I went through by my ex

and the church advised me to seek revenge.

What they do not understand is that it  is not anymore about them.

It is about me.

How I can rid of this monster that has been awakened

and that has killed this Genetic Entity?


Genetic Entity:

GENETIC ENTITY, 1. that beingness not dissimilar to the thetan

which has carried forward and developed the body from its

earliest moments along the evolutionary line on earth and

which, through experience, necessity and natural selection, has

employed the counter-efforts of the environment to fashion an

organism of the type best fitted for survival, limited only by the

abilities of the genetic entity.
The goal of the genetic entity is survival on a much grosser plane of materiality.
(Scn 8-8008, p.8)

by L. Ron Hubbard

How can I help this GE to recover faster and to rise higher on the tone scale

 so as to not affect me so much?

If I do not handle this GE I have to let her go. Too much entheta.

When I feel really down to let go of her it feels the best solution,

 when I feel better I know without doubts that to find out how to get her out of there

will benefit, not only my future, but the future of the many

that behind their beautiful or less beautiful appearance are dying too.

When in my past lives I have found myself in this condition

my solutions have been to suicide,

enter into a hospital or when lucky, I have been found by a guy able to recognize

 my spiritual beauty beyond my agony that with true compassion

and endless unselfish love took care of me.


This life is different, this time I do not wish to run way.

I do not believe in forgetting or putting aside

and I want to go at the bottom of this.

I have the knowledge and ability to help any spiritual being to heal,

but not a genetic entity in such a state of depression.


As every counter survival group, also 1.1 people use agreements to trap.

 They get you to promise loyalty,

and that promises are each of them little locks

to the group (that being a marriage, or a club).

You are willing to give up everything for a team that only exist apparently, in your illusion…

and to whom you are nothing more that a cogwheel or a slave.

But you made agreements and to you and to any decent person

an agreement can be more important than your own life.

So you get trapped by your own agreement and when it is time to leave

 they are just chains, unbreakable chains.

They keep you in a game that no longer exist

or of which you are considered nothing more than a cancer cell,

a cell  of unwanted truth in a system of lies and abuses.

Injustice is one of the surest ways

to destroy psychologically a being.

There is no way you can end any cycle in this universe

or with the Mest universe

till some of your attention units still in it.

In order to leave you have to give up all these precious agreements

you are willy or nilly holding onto.

This, I wish to remind you, is a very different action then forgetting.


When you forget something that is charged

(painful to you)

you have just buried that charge

and all the failed agreements connected to it 

and with it,

your ability to exteriorize and to leave.




If you need help to get out of the Church of $cientology

or if you just left and need help, please call or write to:




Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 8.



  1. Dear Silvia ,
    thank you for your communication. Thanks for your honesty . I imagined that someone having completed OT 8 would sail easier on life than you actually do . I’m amazed to know you are having such trouble with your GE . Isn’t it possible to get in comm with it or even audit your GE . Isn’t it possible to find another one ?
    You should make sure to get regular case gains so your mood goes up regularly .
    I have ben mostly using Scientology but i also used others technologies such as :
    PEAT, Spiritologie , Quantum Entrainment. Recently i got R3X and Deep Processing
    all those tools helped me to overcome a messed up case and i’m not completed yet.
    Why don’t you get in comm with Rolf Krause a Class 8 C/S ? AS an exterior view point may be he could help you . Much love , Denis

    • Der Denis, thank you for writing.
      I have huge case gains with my solo auditing. I regained many OT abilities. We are tlaking about different entities co-existing and affecting eachother.
      We are talking about misconception and confusion. The Church of $ does not cover this GE at this stage. May be becuase the point of you is the theta is cause over it. It is so nos true. The GE is an entity and need to be acknowledge as one. Since I started to audit her, she started to feel better.
      Unless you are able to as-is very single part of your case at once. An OT is going to go through a lot… this might scare people on the lower bridge or that believe that OT is all happyness.. NO is just and advance level of the game… mor joy and more trouble when you get there..

  2. It takes alot of guts to reach out and say its a rough road to travel.

    thinking of you silvia.

    Lupo is looking ready to purr your anxieties away or catch a mouse as a present for you.

    • Yes, Im reaching out for two reason. 1) I know there are few others in my position and I want them to know that they are not alone.
      2) Once you get to a certain levels the tech narrows down to few basic principles. You find them in many phylosophical religions.
      There are people out there that have address this in auditing and my hope is for them to share their weath.

      big hug

      • Big Hug back Silvia,
        The Tibetan monks have a saying (according to Lobsang Rampa), “1000 monks, 1000 paths”.

        each monk is unique

        after studying Scn and then other practices, one thing i noticed is there are infinite ways to enlightenment, one thing that Scn is in disagreement with.

        One Scn principle that is ignored and ironically opposed to its own practices is the Scn principle
        you get what you concentrate on.

        Scn looks for the errors, witholds overts, out lists, ARCX, BTs , whats wrong.

        I came across a principle also that is not covered in Scn, and that is the phenomena of ascension, Blow out win of magnitude that positions one in a new realm of ability, the problem is most of the time the increased ability and awareness is too much power, power is a two edged sword. Ascension can ascend one to a new realm of Ruin, two edged sword. Go up hit a ceiling.

        I have heard of many OT7 hitting walls of difficulty.

        Idenics , which =has helped many OTs through their personal ceilings. John Galusha was Rons #1 research auditor in the 1950s.a very aware being that apparently impressed CLXIIs.

        Also you should look at Alan Walters Knowledgism he also was researching with Ron as an auditor and was very successful.

      • 1000 monks, 1000 path is a generous statement…
        ech monk could have much more than 1 path… (laughing)
        There are some important points that have been misunderstood in Scintology and overlooked in their importance as the Analitycal mind and the Gentic Entity.
        A dear fried sent me this:
        OSHO :
        “Meditation should be absolutely necessary in every educational system, because m…editation is not Hindu, not Christian, not Buddhist. Meditation has nothing to do with any religion. It has nothing to do with any belief. Meditation does not require you to believe in God first, heaven and hell, Jesus Christ as the only begotten son. It needs no belief of any kind. Meditation is an inquiry, a search, a pilgrimage towards your own center. And the person who knows himself cannot do anything wrong. That is an impossibility. The person who realizes himself needs no morality. Morality is needed by blind people.”

        “-Only the open mind can be ready to listen to something that goes against it. The closed mind can listen only to that which supports it. The closed mind has only one dimension open, that is: everything that supports it is allowed in, welcomed in. All other …dimensions are kept closed because there is fear. Things may enter you which may shake up your belief system, disturb your so-called peace of mind; they may sabotage your faith. No person who is a believer can afford to be open.”


      • Ha, yeah too true 1000 monks 1000,000 paths then 😉

        Good view on meditation, no trademark copyright or monopoly on sitting down and discovering ones self. No organisation only what is present is present.

        No put your attention here and you will find this then do this style EVALUATION only what you find in yourself is you.

        There have been some powerful lightbringers, who only wanted us to be remain independantly free .

        Ill check out your link. Thanks Silvia. ;)>

  3. “LOOK AT ME!! What do you see?”
    “No, not with your open eyes. Close them please! What do you see?”
    Still beauty.
    “How can I help this GE to recover faster and to rise higher on the tone scale so as to not affect me so much?”
    Have you ever tried homeopathy? I believe a good practicioner could help your GE.

  4. Ciao SILVIA,vedo con piacere che indossi la stella.
    Legendo cio’ che hai scritto (tradotto) mi sono un po’ preoccupato per te.
    Capisco che il corpo puo’ essere un peso.
    Anch’io mi chiedevo come mai per il solo fatto di essere dentro al corpo mi faccia perdere le mie abilita’ come OT e diventi cosi’ incapace.
    Poi ho capito che non e’ tanto l’essere nel corpo ma e’ piu’ per il fatto di essere dentro la mente,con tutte le considerazioni che ho di me stesso e delle mie capacita’ ed incapacita’.
    Con affetto Adriano

  5. Hi,

    I have encountered almost same thing about GE – it tries to further body-life even thou you are keyed-out What I sometimes do, is to take a tent to nature, forest and stay there for day or more (also sleep there) In that environment iGE-body feels much better due to environment

    The following may key-out GE (but note, that it may bring it to the point of GE re-joining with it’s originator due to becoming a GE and thus it may not anymore be available as GE – depends and actual situation)
    But it may cure it, as well

    Infinity splitter implant (Initial programming of GE)
    Section 5 – The Splitter

    On each “split” item, something like a giant drop of water appears and then breaks apart and disperses as endless tiny droplets spreading through all space and time Spot this with the item Then on the “program” item, the infinite droplets seem to freeze and turn to crystal Spot this with the item
    There are128 entity types that were split out and programmed up by this implant and GE is one of them

    To (live or feel) Iis to be the infinite (Bear) and

    a) copy myself anf others forever
    b) divide myself and others forever

    This continues with the (a) and (b) items of each of the 128 types in sequence

    Group 5 Body Structure
    Section S34
    Genetic Entity
    Split myself and others into Genetic Entities forever
    Program myself and others to be the Genetic Entity and build bodies forever
    To (live or feel) is to be (Bear) Genetic Entity and manage the …. of the body forever
    a) life processes
    b) life cycles (growth, decay, aging)
    c) operating cycles (sleep)
    d) structure
    e) motion
    f) energy
    g) space (?)
    h) reactions
    i) orientation
    j) reproduction (?)
    k) recreation (?)

    After resolution of this, it is usefull to approach Genetic Genetist implant universe and its items, for example:
    Genetist Golden Cloud – To Grow
    Genetic Entity, Golden Cloud – This Means You
    Another Genetic Entity, Blue Cloud – This Means Competition
    You as Golden Cloud Genetist is overwhelmed (in that implant universe) by Blue Cloud Genetist
    And the price item on Genetist Cloud: ‘the price of growth is death’
    Those things may help to as-is Genetic Entity

  6. Almost immediately after writing previous post, have’gotten as-issing of the following:

    ‘Genetic Golden Cloud feeling tender for a mouse like structure – This Means Affinity’

  7. Well Lupo may catch a mouse and all will be solved. 😉

  8. The CONCEPT is easy. Doing it is another thing. This is “my” theory I’m sharing, not some command or other 🙂 A body – learn what it needs to function well – this would be under the category of “educating self”. Mind (not brain) – learn what that is exactly as it has a physicality. You are you as a being – remember who you really are and what your abilities are. What would be the main postulate to a game. Also, define the game being played. What identities would be present to play those games. What ethics conditions are being used on those identities and postulates.

    I’ve gone through the meno-pause stage with only a few traces of it left. I found for myself things which helped. I went through a suicide stage at the age of 42 and did not realize it was mostly due to hormones. Its not as obvious as being hungry where your stomach signals you.

    Your friend did the right thing with the hormone pills but also there are other things that help with it as well. Other people have mentioned some areas, however, in Scn there is this simple thing called the Touch Assist – lol!! So basic, yes? Since its difficult to give oneself a touch assist, there is something else you can do solo very similar to a touch assist. If you are interested, I’ll tell you – if not, I won’t – lol!!

    By the way, what made me decide to keep this body at 42 yrs. old was my children. I figured it would be a very selfish act to kick the bucket because I was being grief stricken and uneducated. So, I made the decision to keep the body and find something that would help me with sparking my life up. That’s when I found a “pocket” of X-Scnners who had just left the church back in the 80’s. And well, here I am 🙂 Lv, Lyn

  9. And of course, as usual, here’s an afterthought :). False Data Stripping. Reread that HCOB. If you believe you are “stuck” in a game, what’s the lie(s)? Lv, Lyn

  10. Silvia, thank you for sharing your most inner thoughts with the world. It is very brave as it opens the door to opinons…but at the same time it is good because it only shows that those who suffer like you are not alone. I went through similar experiences until I realized I had been not auditing/taking care of the GE!

    I am not going to give you advise how to resolve the ‘problem’ since I can see that you are already doing it very well LOL!

    How wonderful it is to separate the GE from the thetan and take care of each accordingly! If not, the GE will bring you down if you will only perceive from the MEST universe perceptions rather than theta plus body.

    At the Church they never really address the GE correctly, I have seen many a good women go through natural GE stages, call premenopause, post partum disorder, pre menstrual syndrom, etc. we women are different in our bodies and it is good to spot that and be able to differentiate.

    Well done for taking care of the GE and getting her in session! That is very OT my friend!



    • Thank to you sister!! I love you very much and I cannot thank yo enough for the priceless help and support you have and are giving me.
      You are amazing on your duplication of the basics.!!
      You have helped me to understand the above, and let’s cross finger that we have found an answer to depression…

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