And you ask yourself: “Should I be here?”


“Admiration” doesn’t dissolve things,

doesn’t make them disappear

at the contrarily, we become one,

in fact admiration unites. ” 

by Elizabeth Hamre




How many of you are alone today?


How many are somewhere where  they do not belong

 feeling that if they were there or not it wouldn’t make any difference?


Many times I have been “thanked” for the magic I brought to the party,

as you would acknowledge a servant.


And while admiring the beautiful lights,

the red bows, people drinking and laughing

I realized that in all that magic

there was nothing there for me.


The times I most felt alone were when

I was surrounded by “friends” or “family”;

the people I loved.




I have been a “strange” animal since a while…

people do not like to hung out with strange animals,

they have fun at the beginning,

as they  think you are so bright and popular

but then, through their admiration,

they kind of became you, a bit,

and they start to experience

an unconfortable feeling of danger.


They think they are regarded as “strange animals too”

 and the cold wind of judgment scares them to dead.


They often choose to go back to the normal life.


The safe one.

The one that every one would approve.


So, they think,

it is safer to admire you from far away.

or not admire you at all.

As Elizabeth says ‘Admiration unites

does not dissolve’.


Today, I dedicate this post to who of you

wrote me sharing their sadness,

feeling alone.


We might feel we are alone

and indeed many times we are.

We cannot force people to love us back,

we cannot make them to want to be with us.

We cannot change them,

or force them to change our lives,

but we can change

and we can change the lives of many others.


Send your love back at the people

who care for you and who truly love you.


There is a place where nobody ever leaves

and nobody ever arrives


and that is the spiritual world.


Everyday is a beautiful Christmas

where people love and care for each other.






and do what LRH wanted them to do:



The ‘Center of Advanced Spiritual Research and it’s Applications’ is NOW open in Texas and Italy.

We unite spiritual beings

while helping OT’s to live as OTs.




I’m a Class VI auditor, 2 Flag Internships  and an OT7+

and I’m auditing daily on the solo’s upper levels on the OT band.




My team and I are available to travel in USA and Europe.

We deliver in English, Spanish and Italian.

Center for Spiritual Research and its applications



ITALY: Silvia Kusada/Maurice Pascal


Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 7+.


  1. Silvia, I admire the way you ask the hard questions, even when you admit you don’t know the answers.

    You keep us from falling into the smug complacency of past accomplishment. Your questions always stick in the mind and occasionally generate surprising conclusions.

    Recognition of being alone is the penalty of increased awareness. Even our closest friends and lovers touch our realities only at a handful of points. For the greater part of our existence, we need to develop our sense of self and our power of choice so that we live in the presence of others but not be dependent on their agreement to live.

    Working with others to increase our abilities seems to be the easiest way to have certainty that we are making a difference.

    Merry Christmas!

  2. I opened a lovely gift from a friend this morning. It was a bottle of Philosophy bubble bath. On the side was this: “Once upon a time, there was a person who swore they would love you forever. Their love moved on, but your love stayed in the same place. Consider the opportunity to love the greatest of all blessings, even when love doesn’t go your way. The love you give is the love you get, and it is all good no matter where love takes you. Let the ability to love another belong to you forever and ever because real love stories never end.”.

    This is a lovely gift. Thank you.

  3. What you are saying my Dear that there are lots of people out there who FEELS LONELY. And you have felt lonely even when you were with family, friends, at a party surrounded by people.
    Here is a goody revelation, cognition, understanding of which I have become aware long time back.
    If one feels alone under the most favorable conditions, well than there is a problem more likely a big ARC B’s
    There is on item here: “LONELY, FEELING LONELY” if that thought, consideration not exist than one would not feel lonely.
    That makes sense yes? It is a “consideration” and have incredible amount of agreements accumulated by every being how everybody should be, how everybody should behave, and if those conditions are not on optimum than one has on ARCB. But with loneliness, well it is a huge subject has many considerations by the beings who believe in such to exits therefore it do exists….
    No one need to be alone, being alone happens by choice, you might forgotten the reasons, the postulates you have put there to keep you solitary. But believe me that solitary condition is and was your choice. In session one can locate those forgotten postulates. Every one of tham and the reasons why they were there why you have kept them with you for such a long time and lived by those believes.
    As one walks the PATH of Knowledge, the Path of Enlightenment,. One discovers when the negative, or counter postulates are erased, one never alone even if one as the body is alone, don’t talk to others [humans] for weeks, still one never feels alone. On the contrarily, in fact there is no such a condition exist.
    Any condition can be erased with audition. I highly recommend, buy for you self-few intensive as a gift and head to Silvia’s adobe. If you will do that, I guaranty that one year from now you will not feel alone even if you move to the most remote part of this Planet.
    Have fun, being audited is time travel into the lands created by you but long forgotten. Self-discovery is the greatest adventure one can embark on.

  4. David, “Recognition of being alone is the penalty of increased awareness”
    If there is any condition existing more auditing is needed to as-is those conditions.

  5. Perfection:
    There is a place where nobody ever leaves and nobody ever arrives


  6. “We cannot force people to love us back” – so true! I had this situation at a Christmas party I was yesterday. More or less the same group of people – mostly non-scientologists – but there are always those two ‘churchies’ who are very good friends of the hosts, just as I am. And they know that I am an honest to goodness SP, so they have a bit of a problem. Particularly the one of the two who’s birthday it happened to be on that particularly 24th of Dec. I have always very much liked these two people and before I had been found out I was actually a friend.
    For me, nothing changed and I treat them with friendliness and often found it a bit amusing how particularly the birthday child cringes when I just greet him as of nothing has happened.
    This time we had an interesting constellation when the time came to sing ‘happy birthday’ – he was on one side of the room while the rest of the group, starting to sing, was on the other – and I was by myself in the middle. So while he walked over the the singing and love-giving group he had to pass me, and I put all my love into my own contribution to the birthday song and showered him with love. Will be interesting to find out if I got through to him.

  7. Unconditional love is something I am learning to have for the people in my life and I am letting them have it for me. No matter what happens or what anybody thinks has happened in my life, there are family members that love me unconditionally – my Aunt for instance is one of those people. My mother is another one who loves me unconditionally. She may not be able to confront many things about me, but still loves me no matter what. In that same way I love my own children.
    I had a wonderful visit with some family members I rarely see or communicate with. My cousin had ideas of what a hard year it must have been for me and my kids and I had no idea what she was even talking about. I told her you “counseled” the girls with LRH processes and they were doing much better. She loved that I took care of them – unconditional love from her to me. The ridges I thought she’d surely have were only my preconceived ideas (based on Cof$ lies of how “everybody else” is an enemy).
    I do understand feeling alone but actually the old church think is what I was running on myself that made me feel separate and apart from family particularly. I created it myself and it was really in my own world, not theirs.
    I hope you had a happy Christmas!

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