Today during my meditation (soloing)

something very interesting happen.


I was looking where my thoughts were coming from.

I wanted to know who was busy keeping

his attention on my ex and why.


Usually those are beings who are trying to help

at the best of their knowledge.


The interesting thing was to discover that,

in my space, some of those beings

are working very hard to think for me,

so I do not have to use an old, valuable

“brain of mine” (in pawn somewhere else).




Their computation is that, that brain is very valuable

and needs to be guarded.



So these “helpers” are thinking for me, being me..




After having had that “brain” go,

 I did check for others “bodies in pawn” or parts of it

or thoughts who represent me and

are kept alive.

…NOT by me, but by those who help,

and think is best not to forget,

to not let negative people out of my sight

so you know what they are up to,

who fights people they think are negative to me, for me.

Quite an action.

I did let go, with meditation, of these busy bees

and that brought about an incredible relief.




As you might have seen in my last post, from Tim’s e-mails,

people do strange things in the name of help and love.

Some of them help you, because they are trying,

for a very peculiar computation,

to help you in order to solve their own problems.


They are so overwhelmed by their own life

that they find, in becoming you, the solution.


It is much easier, to control somebody else.

You have them, to face your own problems,

so you do not have to confront it yourself.


Funny, because this morning

I woke up with sadness.

And I looked, and the only answer I could find, it was ME.

… However, knowing a bit more about how all this works

I knew it couldn’t possibly be me.

Yet ME was the right answer.


So my next question has been:

“Who is me?”


Quite few answered that question.

That was the end of my morning sadness.


I guy recently ask me if I was happy.

I looked at him and said: NO.

… I was happy before the man I love

came back into my life to “disappear” again.


…I guess something else opened up

I’m now walking through that tunnel.


But please note, it is a good thing.


How happy can you be while escaping a from a prison?

You are running in the cold,

you are hungry and tired to run, you do not know,

if you are going to make it or not..


How happy can you be during that time of extreme duress?


When you suddenly wake up, your heart start beating again and your lungs start asking for oxygen. You than realize, you either follow asleep again right away, or you better start swimming as fast as you can up toward the surface of the water. There are moments of panic, almost pain, loneliness, betrayals, fear... And the reason you can feel all that, is because you are now awake.


You walking toward freedom,

and soon or later you are going to be free, or freer.


You are going to enjoy space, the sky, the flowers,

the grass and the birds singing.

I guess more important to me that feeling happy,

is feeling I’m going somewhere

and feeling good about myself .




Knowing I’m walking my next step.

That’s what it counts to me.

Can you see?


So, to answer the question of many.

No, many times I’m not feeling happy, but I’m fine.


And I would not change anything that I’m doing

for all the apparent joy a body life can offer.


Love to all.






and do what LRH wanted them to do:



We unite spiritual beings

while helping OT’s to live as OTs.




I’m a Class VI auditor, 2 Flag Internships  and an OT7+

and I’m auditing daily on the solo’s upper levels on the OT band.




My team and I are available to travel in USA and Europe.

We deliver in English, Spanish and Italian.

Center for Spiritual Research and its applications



ITALY: Silvia Kusada/Maurice Pascal


Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 7+.


  1. good one, little bug… love. e.

    • I miss you Eliz, whre have you been?
      LOVE YOU

      • ..Sorry my love… you are not the only one who has noted the absence of my energy flows… I have attained a new state… a state which cant really be described with words… but I will do my best…so here goes.. have it interpreted by One’s own reality…
        The is no memory left, therefore no considerations or thoughts existing. You see, memory holds is the key to continuum.. memory of things gives the falls presence of having the past or the memory act[ one just mocked up the future and that becomes the memory which one believes will be the future [ but that is still the mock-up=memory] All the connection to MEST has been severed in this case as-ised… yet there is a contradiction in that statement.. the body still functions. Yet what the eyes see, no longer belongs to me it is only a picture which has no meanings but there is knowingness which is not in the form of words…. In this state… there is no past or future…. therefore no thinking-thoughts—existing. There is no I, self, any identity left. The MEST itself has lost its stimulating power, therefore no longer a cause over and that makes it totally meaningless.
        In this new reality in which I am cause, the function is not automatic, not forced, compelled, required therefore to create here has become a different matter. A very different reality, which has no meaning… no reason why should be….. so there is no past… no future… no identity… those things are the part of MEST it’s main components…

      • Thank you Eliz, I hoping you would share some of your magic…
        love you

  2. Great post. I totally understand about being happy. Another relative term, happy. 😀

  3. of MEST it’s main components… being bad or good are added the futures to the original creation..
    Every creation is magic… a natural ability one has…… we create to experience to enjoy just for the fun of it…. the considerations like ’’’’ bad or good’’’ those are just added futures to the original… in order to have value, a condition which makes a game a game…
    Everything in this universe is magical…
    PS; i just made soup… very good one, I would love to share a bowl with you.. wish you were here.

    • Wish that too.. Start saving… I will build the extra room and would love to have you.

      • I would love that too and cats.. you.. cats.. bit of heaven.. riding the theta wave!!!.. I All ready enjoy the creation.
        Who needs bodies!!

  4. Hi Silvia!! 🙂

    Its interesting that you use the term “meditation” for soloing. Did you know about the first 2 TR’s history? Who created them and who put them into use and where they come from? I figured it out accidentally because at one time I only had me to work with and so I just started doing OTTRO by myself and then I figured out how to do the TR 0 with things and then with “beings” – which was rather a surprise at the time. Then I was told when, where and how it came about and it made total sense. But when I tried to tell others, I wasn’t believed because I didn’t have anything in writing about it. But through the years its been verified.

    I used to go through this thing where I would just be present, but then I learned to put in the essence of love and a much higher energy which then allowed me to traverse more and expand out more. Through that, there would be “no games”, therefore, no “identity”. There was no thought towards a “me”. However, when active in life, I would then don back on whatever identity and then some, in order to communicate and continue the MEST universe.

    However, to me, as long as one has a body, they automatically have some sort of identity, or something they use to represent themselves to others and be able to sensate and have the apparency of life.

    Its my opinion, that a being can hop out of all that, but basically, the only thing a being could do to be completely up and out was “static”. As soon as one can view oneself then they are “being”. What or who they are being, is another story.

    I have come to the conclusion then, that to live life with MEST usually, a “being” already has created some form of identity, whether it be simple and light or complex and dense. And yes, while I have come completely out of all of that and looked from an outside view, as soon as I step outside the door and operate my body and my car and wherever else I go, I am using identity.

    I am learning more and more about this and I intend to specialize in identities. I find that getting the postulates which form these identities to be fascinating and extremely useful towards changing one’s life. So far, its many a time at the heart of certain matters.

    And of course, if other identities impinge upon one’s own, its always a good thing to realize this and allow it to flow somewhere else :).

    Oh gee, I’m rambling – lol!!

    Love Ya,

  5. IF you travel to Italy some time in the future, let me know. I am interested to meet you 🙂

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  • March 2012
    M T W T F S S
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