- The mark of the true researcher is that he might take a break here and there, but he never quits. -


It happened the last week.


While looking at my art,

I was overtaken by a disturbing fear to become  blind.


It lasted few seconds and then, that fear turned into a beautiful consideration

that if I ever would turn blind,

I would use my blindness as a tool to the true sight.


I embraced that new concept as an opportunity to grow spiritually.

My concerns at that point, magically disappeared.


Was only few days later, talking to one of the guys on my spiritual team

that I was advised to look into a book by Carlos Castaneda.

He said my progress and discoveries

were also covered in the book; ” The active Side of Infinity


I have heard of Casteneda several times in the past.

Part of me (my closed-minded side)

has always been reluctant to approach his writings, as I

considered the use of drugs in research being out of question.

Today I still holding the same viewpoint

as far as drugs are concerned.




This time, however, my thirst for knowledge

was strong enough to guide me to the library.


I have spent the last 3 days reading his book.

Despite the fact that I find reading an extremely slow body activity,

I have not been able to put the book down.


The enlightements and the shifts of view points he makes during the years

through the use of  peyote and under the teaching of don Juan,

were the essence of my own discoveries of the last few months.




The energy system, the “vultures” (flyers)

The parasite mind. The inner silence, the me, me, me which we have to totally eradicated

before you could go anywhere,

and many other topics,

are simply the basic discoveries of many high level philosophies.


Buddha, Krishnamurti and Hubbard, myself and Don Juan, to name just a few, they all talk about it.

They are not understood unfortunately till the person is able

to break free from the installed mind.


This path is for the very few.

For the few who have the courage to walk it through.

No wonder you have to be a “warrior” to make it.


A warrior not to others, but to wade through the red herrings

and the parasite mind: the Matrix.


You need to be a warrior, in order to fall back

and to be able to get up again and again 3 million times

without giving up.

You need to be a warrior to forget everything you have learned 100s of times

and yet be there starting again from scratch.


It take courage to die alone:

…the art  of warrior-travelers: to go through the eye of a needle unnoticed.

“We are alone, ” he said.  “that’s our condition, but to die alone is not to die in loneliness.”

“You cannot confuse solitude with solitariness, ” don Juan explained to me once.

“Solitude for me is psychological, of the mind. Solitariness is physical.

One is debilitating, the other comforting.”


“The only alternative left for mankind,” he continued,

“is discipline.”

…But by discipline i don’t mean harsh routines.

I do not mean waking every morning at five-thirty and throwing cold water on yourself until you’re blue.


Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity

odds that are not included in our expectations.  


For them, discipline is an art:

The art of facing infinity without flinching, not because they

are strong and tough but because they are filled with awe.”



“Forget the self and you will fear nothing, in whatever level of awareness you find yourself to be!


Citation from the book: The active side of Infinity by Carlos Castaneda.


... I find peace every time I let go of myself. I found the door to infinity. And I'm going to walk through. Whatever it takes. I have always thought my journey to be the most incredible astonishing gift. In the last couple of months, I have found that to be nothing compare to what I have ahead. I leave what I know and find. Like puzzles. We are all helping each other on our search.





OT 8 is a start point.




I’m a Class VI auditor and Class IV C/S,

2 Flag Internships  and on OT7+

and I’m auditing daily on the solo’s upper levels on the OT band.




My team and I deliver in English, Spanish and Italian.


ITALIANO/ENGLISH: e-mail: SKusada2010@gmail.com

ESPANOL/ENGLISH: e-mail: dianaclass8@yahoo.com
ITALY: Silvia Kusada/Maurice Pascal


Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 7+.




  1. so inspiring thank you my friend

  2. Yes, thank you. It is a fantastic journey.

  3. Very cool, Silvia.

  4. I totally support your effort. Discipline is such a good word.

    First Jiddu Krishnamurti and then Carlos Castenada were two of my mentors who first my eyes to trusting my own intuition about things. Keep going! You are on the ball! We have so many good and interesting lessons to learn!

  5. Power to you Silvia !

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