The last few months have been quite tough.

This body was energy-empty and weak.

I had to take time out from everything and anything

to face this very uncomfortable and unfamiliar process

not only physically but also spiritually.

Many times I thought I lost it all,

I could not perceive or “hear ” as I use to,

I felt I went blind.

Energy I did not have was constantly drained by an external force,

causing me pain.

There were days I could not make it out of bed.


I was too tired even to continue my research.


Inspired by Castaneda I started to work on dreams,

I worked on developing the ability to change

the events in dreaming as if it was real life.

It has been fun.

I could go back  to a dream and change it to match my wishes.

I found this to be a very effective way to satisfying my needs.

It is in a way a kind of pleasure incidents running

or better say “the running of positive creation”.

This kind of  ‘dreams’ become part of the past exactly as your ‘daily life’

while freeing up like magic, desires and repairing unhandled



In dreams there are no limitations whatsoever

with the exception of the ones you believe to have.

It is a good exercise, on one side, to learn you can, you can, you can.


It could be your perfect gradient to learn to disagree

with the pre-set, very limited

way of thinking called mind.



However, I found this practice, to have some limitations and liabilities in its use.

Some of the counter effects were that you would have to interact

with the fake-memory-banks we once were given.

The new puzzles needed to modify the “stories”,

were to be taken from the implants as

all pictures or memories are nothing but given past or “knowledge”.

Even the very now.


I understand it is impossible to understand this concept

unless you stop using the mind,

but the fact that you can’t grasp it,

it does not make it more or less true.


Anyway, this very activity of modifying dreams, while fun on one side,

results in your further agreement with the “game”.

Distance from freedom.

As soon as I realized it I stopped.

I seriously thought I lost it all, spiritually talking.


All was left for me it was my ability to see the parallel second “dimension”,

one of the several who lives energetically in symbiosis with this “world”.

I was left with the awareness of this life being an illusion,

but, all my abilities to communicate, were gone.



My journeys stopped.

It is actually inappropriate to call these journeys dreams, as the only thing they have in common with regular dreams is the fact that your body is resting in bed.

They are true journeys and you would know the difference once you experience them .


Prior to this energy crisis, I could just lay my body down and go.

Even 24 hours a day.

But even this ability came to an end when the regular dreams resumed

at one of the lowest point of my energy drainage.

I was not studying as much, I had no energy to meditate (soloing) as I used to.

I pushed through a  little bit at the time, till, 4 days ago, the break through.

…I’m back.

There is a reason why I choose to share my journey.

It is not that what I say really matter,

I just hope to be of help to the true seeker of knowledge, in the fact that

when you are on this journey, you have to walk alone,

it is you and if you make it, it is because you have enough courage and strength

to accept to be the one doing it.

Blame does not exists here.

As Krishnamurti says below, It is our truth, and we all have our own.

Doing otherwise will turn it into a lie.


It is nice to be back.

You are always stronger when you make it through

one of those deep-cold-terrifying-dark tunnels.


Hope you have been progressing too.



The art of dreaming

by Castaneda

“I don’t understand it at all,” I insisted.

“Then you haven’t lost anything,” he said. “When you get stronger, you yourself will answer your questions.”

“… about being unknown to myself, especially about a streak of coldness in me that I had not noticed before; a sort of indifference; a detachment that I had attributed to my lack of energy until I regained it.

Then I realized that detachment was a new feature of my being; a feature that had me permanently out of synchronization.”



Anything really true must be totally individual 

by J. Krishnamurti

I do not think that we realize the significance or the importance of the individual.

Because, as I was saying the other day, to bring about a fundamental, religious revolution, one must surely cease to think in terms of the universal, in terms of the collective.

Anything that is made universal, collective, belonging to everybody, can never be true-true in the sense of being directly experienced by each individual, uninfluenced, without the impetus of self-centered interest. I think we do not sufficiently realize the seriousness of this.

Anything really true must be totally individual, not in the sense of self- centeredness, which is very limiting and which in itself is evil, but individual in the sense that each one of us must experience for himself, uninfluenced, something which is not the outcome of any self-centered interest or drive.

One can see in the modern world how everything is tending towards collective thought: everybody thinking alike. The various governments, though they do not compel it, are quietly and sedulously working at it. Organized religions are obviously controlling and shaping the minds of people according to their respective patterns, hoping thereby to bring about a universal morality, a universal experience.

But I think that whatever is made universal, in that sense, is always suspect, because it can never be true; it has lost its vitality, its directness, its truth. Yet, throughout the world, we see this tendency to shape and to control the mind of man.

And it is extraordinarily difficult to free the mind from this false universality and to change oneself without any self-interest.

– The Collected Works, Vol. X”,79,Individual and Society by J. Krishnamurti



For anyone who wish to help,

I’m selling a couple of artist books in which I am the author.

It is a series of books called

“Drops of wisdom”.

If you would like to buy a copy it would help

in continuing my activities of research/help. –

Please e-mail me at:


The first Book is  a compilation of 3 stories ($35 +$ 3.50 S&H)

and the second is one story ($20+$3.50 S&H)


They have a unique cover  with an autographed original drawing by the artist (me).

The books are enumerated. (1/300)







and do what LRH wanted them to do:



We unite spiritual beings

while helping OT’s to live as OTs.




I’m a Class VI auditor, 2 Flag Internships  

Cl 4 C/S and an OT7+

and I’m auditing daily on the solo’s upper levels on the OT band.




My team and I are available to travel in USA and Europe.

We deliver in English, Spanish and Italian.

Center for Spiritual Research and its applications



ITALY: Silvia Kusada/Maurice Pascal


Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 7+.



  1. Thank you for sharing your journey. And lots of love to you.

  2. Sending you Lots of Love!!!

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