Losing reality

il mio cuore

“Q: It is difficult to stop playing a role? A: It is not question of stopping, it is a question of not identifying. (…) The most difficult thing is to act yourself consciously. We start consciously and then we usually identify.” The fourth way by PD Ouspensky

“The most difficult part of my divorce is dealing with the mind which throws a bunch of past into the now.

The beautiful man I married once is the key of this pain.

In actuality that man does not exist any longer. I found out he lied since the beginning, one of his I’s prevailed.

I experience pain because I individuate with the I’s of the program of the organic me of this dream.

Yet, many times this pain, the loss and grief of one of this programs still seem like mine.

It is a very nice trap this identification with the dream,

with the illusion you can ‘change‘ ‘yourself’ or any of this many programs (personalities which makes what we call the ‘I’).

You never really do change anything, as Mr’ Hubbard said: “You never change a valence even if it appears so, you can just switch into another”.

..

It could be a shocking news the fact that no matter what you do, nothing really changes. The dream goes on.

It is not only a shocking news, it is so unbelievable and impossible for a mind to understand it,  people laugh and think it is crazy.

After all, we all agreed we have to work to get money, we have to get a glass to our mouth to drink, we have to pay to buy something to the grocery store.

The little thing we always forget,

is it is not us that have to do it, but the program itself.

I’m in the middle of an interesting, fascinating very painful work…

Self observation, where anything and all I observe is not,  it is a dream and any attempt to leave the dream slams back at you with the feeling of unbearable pain to deter you to go any further.

I will tell you more as I proceed. 😀

Leaving you with some quotes of great friends.

A word from J. Krishnamurti

There can be experiencing. Ideas are not truth, and truth is something that must be experienced directly, from moment to moment. It is not an experience which you want, which is then merely sensation. Only when one can go beyond the bundle of ideas – which is the ‘me’, which is the mind which has a partial or complete continuity; only when one can go beyond that, when thought is completely silent, is there a state of experiencing. Then one shall know what truth is.

 J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

Direct observation:

Why do ideas take root in our minds?

Why do not facts become all-important -not ideas?

Why do theories, ideas, become so significant rather than the fact? Is it that we cannot understand the fact, or have not the capacity, or are afraid of facing the fact? Therefore, ideas, speculations, theories are a means of escaping away from the fact…

You may run away, you may do all kinds of things; the facts are there the fact that one is angry, the fact that one is ambitious, the fact that one is sexual, a dozen things. You may suppress them, you may transmute them, which is another form of suppression; you may control them, but they are all suppressed, controlled, disciplined with ideas…Do not ideas waste our energy?

Do not ideas dull the mind? You may be clever in speculation, in quotations; but it is obviously a dull mind which quotes, that has read a lot and quotes.You remove the conflict of the opposite at one stroke if you live with the fact and therefore liberate the energy to face the fact. For most of us, contradiction is an extraordinary field in which the mind is caught. I want to do this, and I do something entirely different; but if I face the fact of wanting to do this, there is no contradiction; and therefore, at one stroke I abolish altogether all sense of the opposite, and my mind then is completely concerned with what is, and with the understanding of what is.

J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

The fourth way by PD Ouspensky

Pictures, your idea the feeling and action of connecting to the past or to envision a future are all draining from your simplicity of being and

Q: It is difficult to stop playing a role?

A: It is not question of stopping, it is a question of not identifying.

(…) The most difficult thing is to act yourself consciously. We start consciously and  then we usually identify.”

The fourth way by PD Ouspensky

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3 Comments

  1. Keep getting better my havingness process.  

    Ron

    • Glad to her that Ron.

  2. Lies will definitely create a warped reality. I experienced this in my second marriage. I recall exactly the time when my “bubble burst” and reality came crashing down on me. So I changed my viewpoint and carried on with this “new” reality. Ultimately, things worked out for the best for all concerned. But it took time. And energy.
    And nothing is ever exactly what you see anyway.
    Great post. Love to you…


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