One morning I woke up and felt I was in the wrong movie.
. “You came back from your other dimension and you find yourself sitting next to a distant man…, in a sad environment where you are made guilty to love your son and to cherish the presence of you cat. What am I doing here?
“You came back from your other dimension opened your eyes to find yourself sitting next to a angry man,
you are a stranger to him. The beautiful initial spiritual connection is gone.
He still calling you honey and telling you he loves you.
But there is no truth in that, it is just a routine.
All this makes it a sad environment, you are made guilty to love your son and to cherish the presence of you cat.
What am I doing here?
You feel like you are in the wrong movie.
You well know that there is no ‘right movie’,
but even in the illusion, in your identification with the play,
you have the choice to choose the illusion you like. May be.
At least that is what I thought at that time.
Things have changed today.
I know it does not really matter.
Once you look at life from a non-ordinary reality, all you see is a code and different wavelenghts interwaving eachother.
All loses the branding of good or bad, its significance, all is the same.
They are, these type of illusions, the same type of prisons.
Have I grown from all this pain?
Have I became stronger and increased my awareness?
I like to think so.
Is my life happier?
No, not based on the human definition of happiness:
“Feeling so blessed you do not remember anymore who you are and where you come from. “
I’m training myself to see, and the prison is always present… at least more and more.
P.D. Ouspensky ‘The fourth Way’ chapter 6 …. ” We escape from the tentacles of mechanichalness and break its force by big suffering. If we try to avoid suffering, if we are afraid of it, if we try to persuade ourselves that nothing bad really happened, that, after all, it is unimportant and that things can go on just as they were going before, not only shall we never escape, but we shall become more and more mechanical, and shall very soon come to a state when there will be no possibility for us and no chance.”
Does it feel good?
Knowing the truth it is the best thing I can ever ask.
It is extremely painful at times, but I would never exchange my pain and suffering
for a nice night of sleep. I want to know.
As difficult at it is at times,
I know that one day I will be on the other side of the prison and all this will be worth it.
I have achieved some ‘seeing’
I know by now that when you achieve this power
it is a great liability not to own up to it.
It can be the worst curse ever.
You cannot play human any longer.
You have to stop.
You have to let go of your identity/ies and all the illusion of it.
Otherwise the worse sadness will be a joy compare to what will happen to you.
But I’m blessed and ready to more.
My pain keeps me on the road of self-remembering
and continuously working on seeing.
Do not expect to be joyful when the beautiful trees, the huge house you own or your ‘president of the company office’
shows it’s true form; the grey bars and the cold stones of jail.
But do bless that moment,
because, if you have enough strength, that is the starting point,
and you, you are not alone.
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