The only thing that can hurt you are your expectations

What hurts it is never what people do to us, it is our expectations of them, of how we would want them to be with us.

And so, we meet someone we feel a connection to and, from there the infinity comes in, not the infinity of choices and possibilities, but unfortunately the infinity of suppose ‘to do or not to do’, ‘to be or not to be’ and ‘to have or not to have’. Goals, conclusions, judgments are just synonymous of expectations.

Whenever the above becomes reality to us, we are out of present time as we have stopped looking at the situation for what it is. We are not looking anymore at the very person in front of us, but at the result of a bunch of computations and long endured conditioning brought about by the very act of living.

I see apples on the table and I start to think I will have an apple pie for dinner. There is no sugar on the table, nor butter or flour, but I taste the pie.

And so, we meet Joe, and Joe is a great guy with very good manners and we feel there is a connection. We tell ourselves something special is happening and at that very moment, we stop looking at Joe.  Joe is a pastor so he must have a good heart. Josephine helps old people therefore she will have good care of us.  Marc hates liar, so he must be truthful…. and so on with an ocean of preconstructed ‘truths’.

So, when Mary, who have made you feel unique and special, who dresses very proper and show no signs of interest in other boys runs away with your best friend, you fall into a big shocks.

“I’m so hurt because she betrayed me!!!”

If there is a person that has betrayed anyone is yourself. You have substituted your perceptions with pre-constructed knowledge to suit your dreams or your fears.

Mary has always been Mary. She has never been faithful to you in her heart even if the appearance have shown otherwise. Her words may have seems to acknowledge what your ego desired…. but just like the apple pie will not be on the table at dinner so Mary will not be there for you in times of need as you expected. Any attempt on your part to force her into your dreamed role would be nothing but a violence to her and to yourself. She must be like this because this is right to me, is not only a violence as pressure her to change who she really is, but it is a violence to yourself as it forces you to support a lie and invalidates your ability to look at reality and pervade it.

What it is really love?

Most people call love the emotion connected to a self-created image of someone they know. What they love is their idea of that person, not the person. That, far from being love, could be call instead emotional greed.

Love. Love when true carries the power and the force to push through any lie. Love is a permeating force which reveals what’s really there, because it does not contain any desire to change, modify or judge.

Love is a pure transparent communication between two souls.

Love and expectations do not belong to the same plane and cannot co-exist.

Knowing that, our human games could become a reason to self discovery and improvements.

People we connect to could become means of inspiration forcing us to look at ourselves, at our emotional limitations. And, for this, they are blessed.

Therefore a true warrior disregards the “losses” well knowing they do not really exist,  pulls up his sleeves and digs for answers against anything that makes him selfish to himself and to others.

Love, when pure, does not have you or me… it has only you. For people who love each other are one.

And here, note,  I’m not talking about romantic love, but the love between souls, much bigger and long lasting than human love even when the first, manifest itself in its higher forms.

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