The substitute

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I was driving down the road. I was not alone.

The mind was hovering over me like a predator ready to catch his prey with its mighty claws.

A feeling of dismay and a great, deep sadness pervaded me just as a thick fog would permeate everything and all.

 “I’m so tired to be alone. I so wish I could have someone I can trust with all myself, someone who will never stub me on my back. Someone I can fall asleep with, feeling safe, and at peace.”  I felt tired.

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The claws of the mind were about to seize me when I saw the shadow of two of my worst enemies at my side, holding me in place right there: my self-pity and my self-importance.

I instinctively took distanced from everything and asked myself a question:

“What would I say to my ‘students’ if anyone of them would be in this situation? What I would do to help them?”

Suddenly, the mind unprepared from such strike, retrieved in a hurry.

“How could you possibly expect a “savior”, a “trusted friend”, in something which does not exist?

When you enter in a dream, when you sit in the middle of an illusion, you are creating upon invisible imputes, stimulus, a reality of a world. It could seem very real, but still it is all an illusion. And, in an illusion, the only real thing is you.

Not your appearance in the illusion, not you thoughts (the mind), but you.

download (32)So, if you are the only real thing, you are also the only one you can really trust and the only one who can set you free.

You better then; start taking care of yourself, as you are the only one you have got.”


I realized, I, as the majority of dreamers who have forgotten are dreaming, seek into others what they cannot be, what they do not know they could be.

We let our mind seeding fears and limitations and then, in our dreams we obey to them instead of setting other courses or paths.


What Are Lucid Dreams and How You Can Experience Them


Perhaps, being able to create your dream at will and as you pleased, could result in a great liability and carry a danger that could not be underestimated.

Too many, seat on their contentment once they think the power to change their dreams is achieved, and doing so forget there are not awake.

They forget it is just an induced dream.

And so, there are very few of us capable to achieve harmony and peace in their dreams and still remembering that the purpose is not to get comfortable, but to awaken to fight for an higher freedom.





RIGHT and WRONG: the infinite shades of truth

“Abandon false ideas, that is all. There is no need of true ideas. There aren’t any.”

Nisargadatta (20th century Indian Advaita mystic)



This fake pandemic for some, or not so fake for others, has not only been the source of fears, worries and of a significant number of deaths among the already sick (and/or with a very low immune system) and those considered part of the “non-productive” band of society, but has been used for another purpose: ‘Divide and conquer’.


In truth, people will enter into wars, will fight and kill their family members, best friends, and neighbor in order to assert their rightness, unaware of the fact that everyone is wrong and all are right, depending on where they stand.

The fear monger, the deep state, both know very well how to use this datum to manipulate the masses.  Revolts and act of protest resulting in violence is what they wish for, this in order to justify extreme measures of control issued to “bring back safety” into the population.

“Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” 

“Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech.”

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Most of the time, we will find those people fomenting both sides.

For example: If they wish to vaccine the population, a campaign in favor of the vaccine is started (one or several campaigns). Of course they are going to use fear and safety to make this cause appealing.

On the other side, well knowing some people will actively disagree they will put someone in place to lead and direct the opposition.

This military tactic is called PSYOPS


Knowing an opposition is inevitable, the fear monger or/and deep state select someone  to lead the “rebels”. With minimum damage to the main goals, the ‘plant’ steers the opposition into ineffective actions and results that, although meaningless, give the opposition a feeling of gaining ground or the illusion of a sort of result.

Crowd calming deals, apparent compromises and simulated draws-back allows the manipulator to gain time and work undisturbed. While  the “rebel” pauses, waiting for a resolution, the other side, unhindered, further its plans.

The very majority of the time, people fight each other in wars unaware that, behind the scene, “their leaders” work, obey and get orders from the same guy.

So, when you choose a war, if you are in need of one or if you cannot withhold yourself from join one, choose carefully, but most important, do not trust anyone who tells you to sacrifice all you have, your family, your friends, you fellow man for a future beautiful world, because the beautiful world start where you are.

Your “war” for a better world start when you respect and help those in needs near you, by avoiding wasting food, and by stopping to generate tons of unnecessary garbage that has filled up our oceans and the third world countries.

You don’t have to go far. The further you go, the less control you have, and the more are the chances the ones in-charge, will take advantage of the situation to their own benefit as many have already done.

At the top of most no-profit organization are men who take your money (savings of the working class) to pay for their big salaries and for the creation of skillfully designed campaigns to publicized the very few people they “help” to gain more support, while,  at the bottom, people like you do voluntary work for free.

The pink, the blue or red ribbons you buy are fattening the pockets of the big bosses while, those dying, do not have a ride to the hospital or are unable to pay for their cures.


Regardless of what may appear, very seldom your enemy is the person in front of you. He usually never makes it to the front line.

You will always have to deal with someone else, someone bought by lies and promises, the fear monger/ the deep state never intended to keep.

As for me, you, and everyone else, we all have a very limited view of truth, if any.

For this, a very important step is to train ourselves to recognize lies.

“Abandon false ideas, that is all. There is no need of true ideas. There aren’t any.”

Nisargadatta (20th century Indian Advaita mystic)

“The surest way to be deceived is to think oneself more clever than others.”

François de La Rochefoucauld

Next time you look at someone with different ideas, pause and think for a moment.

Why this person is believing this?

He might be scared, he might have been given false data, or is you, who has received false information?

Who has interested in the fight?

Who is gaining? and when I say gaining I mean GAINING?

You might need to protect yourself from the attacks of people nearby, people blinded by fear, lies and confusion, but remember, they are not your real enemy.

They are been manipulated like everyone of us. They have been fooled into believing there is only one reality.

Do whatever it is needed to be safe but DO NOT engage into war against them. They are not your real enemy.


While climbing up a mountain the view changes.

The same scenario seen by happy people changes considerably from the perception of the same scenario by people under a lot of stress or suffering from depression. The cultural background, the expertise in certain areas, are also a contributing and modifying factor on the person’s perception of truth.

What it might appear a bad news to one on a given subject or area,  could be a great news to another with a different type of  knowledge or background.

“Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”

Will Rogers.

Imagine a group of people walking up a mountain.

If you would ask them what they see, you would get different answers depending, not only on their emotional state, but also on where they are and from where they look.

The one at the bottom, will tell you there are only trees. He is right and he is telling you the truth. The one a little bit higher will also see few houses, the one higher would mention the existence of a lake, while the one at the very top might even see a far away land on the other side of the sea.

They are all right, even if they seem to report different things.

If you put them together, they might even argue with each other trying to assert their own truth. There is no house, there is no lake and there is no other land!

If they never made it to the top of the mountain, if they are only aware of what it is in front of their nose, they will fight and try to refute any other reality.

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”  F. Scott Fitzgerald said that in 1936.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”  (Aristotle)

So, they are all right and at the same time they are all wrong, as, in all cases, there is more to it than what they see.

Arguing does not change the scenario for anyone of them. If you really understand this point, you will be able to love people for who they are and for what they believe.


“The surest way to be deceived is to think of yourself more clever than others, and neglecting opposing views because you don’t agree with them.

If you want to be a critical thinking and prevent yourself from falling into self-righteous, self-serving conclusions, be open to other ideas besides your own thinking model.”

Fitzgerald’s model of thinking. (


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“Freedom is not defined by safety. Freedom is defined by the ability of citizens to live without government interference. Government cannot create a world without risks, nor would we really wish to live in such a fictional place. Only a totalitarian society would even claim absolute safety as a worthy ideal, because it would require total state control over its citizens’ lives. Liberty has meaning only if we still believe in it when terrible things happen and a false government security blanket beckons.”

 Ron Paul


And if we move a little bit higher than the top of the mountain, where the mind does not have a chance to rule, we will discover there are no sides, no right or wrong, just a beautiful flow of energy.

“[C]hange is not merely a force of destruction.
Every form is really a pattern of movement, and every living thing is like the river, which, if it did not flow out, would never have been able to flow in.
Life and death are not two opposed forces; they are simply two ways of looking at the same force, for the movement of change is as much the builder as the destroyer.
The human body lives because it is a complex of motions, of circulation, respiration, and digestion.
To resist change, to try to cling to life, is therefore like holding your breath: if you persist you kill yourself.
In thinking of ourselves as divided into “I” and “me,” we easily forget that consciousness also lives because it is moving.
It is as much a part and product of the stream of change as the body and the whole natural world. If you look at it carefully, you will see that consciousness— the thing you call “I”— is really a stream of experiences, of sensations, thoughts, and feelings in constant motion.
But because these experiences include memories, we have the impression that “I” is something solid and still, like a tablet upon which life is writing a record.
Yet the “tablet” moves with the writing finger as the river flows along with the ripples, so that memory is like a record written on water— a record, not of graven characters, but of waves stirred into motion by other waves which are called sensations and facts.”
― Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Miracles by Stuart Wilde


“Within the Universal Law, there’s no dual energy, good and bad, saints and sinners. There’s just energy- one power that pervades all things, and everything is a part of the power.

Differentiation between good and evil is just your perception, for within real energy there is no judgment.”

The 3 Keys to Self Empowerment by Stuart Wilde

The 3 Keys to Self Empowerment by Stuart Wilde


“… as you set out on your “action plan,” you will not be able to infringe on others. Whatever you create will have to be for yourself. You cannot will the Universal Law onto others, saying, “I want this to happen to my friend.” This would be infringing, because, not knowing the nature of your friend’s heroic life plan, you’re not entitled to change it or in any way alter what he’s going through at this time.

He has to experience life for himself, as he also has unlimited power within him, and a part of his growth patter is discovering the fact.”

The biggest lie


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“The highest purpose of this universe is to entrap a spiritual being into contributing his own energy and self to it. “

This dirty trick has been played on all of us not only through the inception of the ideas we need to changes the present entering a set of ‘should-be/should-not-be’, should-have/should-not-have, should-became/should-not-became, should-do/should-not-do…etc. which catapults the being into a future “ideal scene” towards the achievement of acceptance, happiness and success, but also by having a being of unlimited power associating with a fictitious actor of which motions are limited by the rules and regulation of the play on stage (physical universe).

Due to that very indoctrination, people spend the very majority of their life in the future, fighting the present, struggling to change something which does not even exist. And what it is better to avoid escaping than keeping the prisoners worried about the conditions of the cell?

By keeping the souls busy trying to achieve success, power and happiness you stick their attention constantly to the future preventing them from waking up to the illusion of life.

“The world of the ego is one of discomfort, even agony at times. You have to struggle to keep it happy. You can give it a new car to play with, a toy, some sexual experiences, you can get drunk and stuff yourself full of food, and still the ego wakes up the following morning to nail a list of things to your forehead, saying: “Hey, sucker, get me this, get me that. I feel insecure—I want more, a lot more stuff.” The ego leans naturally toward dysfunction. It is tough to come to any kind of serenity in what the Eastern mystics call “maya”—the illusion of an ego-driven world.

Infinite Self by Stuart Wilde

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If every soul believes enough he/she IS the character playing on the stage, if they introvert enough and keep trying to redecorate the match-box they have been crammed in, we can prevent them from looking around and may be from picking out of the window.

With this awareness, today, I look at every souls with deep love and compassion. The souls playing the bad guy or the good guy, the poor and the rich, the famous or the one who anyone have never notice to exist. They are all souls on a stage convinced (some more than others) the stage is all there is.

But all of us are guilty of the same crime. We teach our kids how to be human, to meet the standards of a society and how to conform; “Take care of your body, finish your school, wear the right clothes, obey or disobey the rules, play sports and you will see you will be happy!” Look at how many activities aim to support and reinforce the idea of happiness or the idea of a better future.

And the future is where the very majority is, right in that projection the ego puts in front of their eyes.


‘PROTECT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!’ the ego says: And by the very actions we undertake to make sure they are safe, healthy,  smart, accepted, loved and appreciated, we contribute to bury the little sparkle of awareness they might have had left once they entered this “dream”.

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“Lack of awareness has its roots in childhood.
We require our children to endure the tick-tock influence of the education system—a system whose only reality is based in ego, personality, status, and logic.
By the age of seven or eight, the inner knowing, which is gifted to you naturally when you are born, is usually squashed out of a child. We are trained to ignore the easy way of knowing things via our interconnection with all things, and replace it with a laborious method of learning by rote, intellect, and mind-numbing conformity and logic.”

Stuart Wilder
Infinite Self Step 4

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Here we don’t find just the doctor, the successful football players, the famous actor, we also find the mystic, and the very majority of spiritual schools or groups. As I said before, you might feel a little less crowed if you able to fly mid air, but nevertheless you still inside the prison with everybody else. You still stuck on stage, force to read and play a script you haven’t even choose.

So, when you enroll in yoga classes, join a spiritual group, when you decide to get counseling to improve your life, you are just become more and more enmeshed with the Matrix.

“So, one of the ideas to remember is that the need to feel secure is only a bad habit. You can feel secure even when you don’t know what will happen next. It’s only a custom of ego that requires you to “need to know.” You don’t! When you become more infinite in your perception, you become more open, and knowing what will happen next becomes less important. It’s the difference between flow and restriction. You can be quite secure even when you don’t know. When people say to you, “What do you know?” you can say, “Nothing. I don’t know, don’t care.” Then you transcend the weakness of the ego so that it is reluctant to move. You’re going to have to move without knowing, just feeling your way along and asking yourself constantly, “Hey, how does this feel? Does it feel right?”
If it doesn’t, make adjustments.”

Stuart Wilde

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What people do not realize is, true spiritual progress, has nothing to do with the changing of the play (improving living conditions or the body),  but has to do with regaining the proper view of the play, extroverted from the character on the stage.

Money, health, knowledge, success, power, spiritual awakening and status are the Ego’s agenda. Is the Ego which is happy when the chronic headache is gone, when we see a little better, or when we feels we gains control or power.

The fact that your foot does not hurt anymore, Brigitte or Thomas finally loves you back, that you mortgage is paid off or that you finally got the promotion you wanted for so long, does not mean you have made spiritual progress. Not at all.

Nor is an indication of spiritual progress to have gained power over others, reading people minds, levitation, to move objects or having them appear or disappear. In fact all those things are just goals of the Ego, and again, are the very mechanism which keeps a soul entrapped to a game of the mind, looking for proofs instead of bailing our toward the exit door.

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“It doesn’t matter if your life isn’t fantastic; that’s only the ego’s viewpoint.
Spiritually, your life is fantastic, it’s a great privilege to be here. I think it’s important to remind yourself of that constantly.
At first your mind will be very strong.
You’ll say, “I believe…,” and the mind responds, “No, I don’t.” You’ll say, “I feel good,” and the mind contradicts, “No, I don’t.” It’s a tussle, but that is the challenge and beauty of this sacred journey.
You are not necessarily perpetually victimized by your mind; you can push against it and change its programming.
It’s not a matter of wrestling with your mind, but more a process of quietly and consistently disempowering its negative influence.
When the mind offers you a negative thought, say to yourself, “I don’t accept that negative energy; I don’t accept fear. I am love.
I am positivity. Everything flows through me. Everything comes to me for my highest good.”
Thus, you start to replace the psychology that often creates so much destruction in your life.

As well as policing your thoughts and dialogue, you will want to keep an eye on the quality of your associations and actions.
Stay away from people who discriminate and deprecate, or those who are involved in destructive or degrading actions. You don’t need to judge them, but you don’t have to be involved, either. Watch over your actions and make sure that you run your life in a positive and honorable way. Settle your debts, follow through on commitments, and treat people fairly.
Don’t allow your mind to suck you into actions that affirm weakness or that lower your energy and destroy your balance.”
page 34

Infinite Self by Stuart Wilde

“There is no death. All the agony we experience emotionally and psychologically is agony of the ego. When you understand that, a big door opens inside you. If the ego didn’t
have dogma, opinions, and positions it has to defend, you couldn’t have negative energy. Somebody would come up to you and say, “I’m going to shoot you in the head,” and you’d say, “Fine, I’m infinite. Do what you need. Meanwhile, I’m going to carry on here,
working in my flower garden.”

Stuart Wilde

Infinite Self – Step 5

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Nor is an indication of spiritual progress to have gained power over others, reading people minds, levitation, to move objects or having them appear or disappear. In fact all those things are just goals of the Ego, and again, are the very mechanism which keeps a soul entrapped to a game of the mind, looking for proofs instead of bailing our toward the exit door.

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“You should remember that when you look at negative energy, you’re only looking at events or circumstances that contradict the ego.
So the ego says, “I want to live forever,” and the body dies.
We consider that a negative event, and we say, “Harry died.” And we all take a moment to remember Harry. But Harry isn’t dead; he’s infinite.
You’ll never be more alive than the moment after your heart beats its last beat and stops.
All the people who died in the war aren’t dead. All the people who have suffered aren’t suffering anymore. They are still alive.”

Stuart Wilde
Infinite Self Step 5

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“Learn to become an observer of life and an observer of self.”


Stuart Wilde -Infinite Self: Step 10




Although I have not written for some time, I have been engaged in few activities to the benefit of people in search of freedom.

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I have been translating into Italian a very useful book written by an exceptional being to whom it goes all my admiration for the contribution to the spiritual world; David St Lawrence.

This man has made available in a very effective and simple form, a technique to handle inorganic being or spirit which affect our lives and bodies. Technique, the Church of $cientology has altered and made difficult to acquire and to apply freely for profit reason (It requires, if you are lucky, a minimum of $250 thousands, to get to this point).

Below is the link to his book, probably the best investment you can ever make.

Remember, the above technology, is just one of the tools you should have under your belt with all the others.

Second, I have been writing a book in my native language about boundaries.

Boundaries are not very popular into the Church of $cientology due to the fact that, as any psychopathic, abusive personality or group, boundaries are destroyed or perverted in order to get the person/member to sacrifice all and everything to the sole benefit of the group.

As part of my research, I came across an amazing guy who sums up in few words the basic problem of mis-ownership and, to my opinion, explains it in a much simpler and truthful manner than I have ever seen before. This is what it says:

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“One of the reasons for the human dilemma, for the confusion that humans have felt about the meaning and purpose of life, is that more than one level of reality comes into play in the experience of being human. Trying to apply the Truth of one level to the experience of another has caused humans to become very confused and twisted in our perspective of the human experience. It is kind of like the difference between playing the one-dimensional chess that we are familiar with, and the three-dimensional chess played by the characters of Star Trek – they are two completely different games.

That is the human dilemma – we have been playing the game with the wrong set of rules. With rules that do not work. With rules that are dysfunctional.” “We are involved in a process, a journey, on multiple levels.

From -Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls- by Robert Burney

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We all witnessed people arguing about the truth or falsehood of statements, without ever considering that, every statement or viewpoint at one level or another, in one plane or another it is true, while it is utter falsehood in others.

As you start “seeing” far beyond the human limited perceptions, you will fully understand what I’m talking about.


point of view 2


Till then, you will continue experience mis-feelings, guts feelings which seem not supported by any facts. You will continue to have this “inner fights” which are not always caused by the interfering of other entities, but can be stemming from our perceptions of other universes, dimensions, planes and states of existence within the duality zone or even beyond it.

It is true we can perceive thoughts and feelings of inorganic beings, or other living beings with a body, but what I’m talking about it goes a bit further than that. It touches other words, dimensions and states.

To give you an example I’ll like to tell you about one of my ‘dreams’: “I broke my phone and I told myself, “I’m pretty sure this is a dream and when I will wake up my phone will be fully functional.”

In the dream, I tried few things to prove myself I was dreaming but all seemed pretty real and normal. Despite the fact that everything seemed to confirm I was awake, I was not convinced… Something was telling me that life, for as real as it seemed, was just a dream. I held my ‘broken’ phone, while I was sure my phone was not broken.


Knowing there was not an explanation in that moment to make sense to what I was sensing, I decided to leave this thing alone…    Few minutes later I woke up, and yes, my phone was perfectly functional.

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Now, if in that dream I would have gone around asserting to everyone the phone was not broken and if I would have tried to convince everyone of the truth of my statement, I would have looked mad and definitely created upset among whom, like me, could feel the truth of my statement, but was not ready to admit the existence of other dreams (planes of existence).

At one point, after having regained our ability to see at once all those different universes/dimensions, it will suddenly become clear how the person who says there-is-life-after-death and the person saying there-is-no-life-after-death are both right.

It will make sense the feeling of longing, of love and friendship who linger in a broken hearted lover. Someone in this plane could be pretty destructive to you as he or she could be your perfect soul mate on another perceivable plane.  And those two realities can exist at the same time.

“I know he/she loves me” and “he/she does not love me” are both a truth and a lie. Can you see that?


Therefore, aberration is mainly the action of applying the right perception in the wrong plane.

Think about it.

It is not only: Is this the right thing for which being? But could also be, for which plane or system of logic?

Quantum physics touches the infinite universe of possibilities. How many dreams /illusions are we experiencing at the same time?

From where I stand right now it does not really matter. But, for whom still tied to its mind and to the material/duality zone experience, to know there is more to it that meet the eyes, could bring much relief.

Here you have one more tool to add to the others.

Useful, till one reaches a much exterior prospective and a broader view where several movies are projected at the same time on a bunch of different screens.

Can we live more than one life at the same time? Yes and no.

The mind says: “Yes, you are living those lives!”, while the witness is fully aware those lives do not exist, they are just a bunch of projections on different screens.




A message from HOME

I want to share something some of you might find interesting, as I have spent many hours listening to the Mind, trying to find reasons why the people I loved the most have left me not without a great deal of intentionally caused sufferings.


Yesterday, I had a chat with my teacher and he told me a story; his story.

“When I was a man, -he told me- I loved many women. I was half awakened and my love was pure and big, I loved with my body and my soul. Yes, I had a ‘mind’ trying to complicate things, but my reality and connection with the non-ordinary world was so strong, the mind could not kill what I knew and what I felt for them.

One after the other, those women, enjoyed the attention, the deep loyalty as they all felt enriched, at first, of something very foreign to this world. They all felt blessed, free, powerful and rejuvenate by the energy of pure love. They felt seen for the first time.

They did not need to be this or that, do or have… they knew I was home to them no matter what and that made them feel strong and invincible.

But with time, they also felt seen in their weakness, and by identifying with them, driven by their ‘mind’, they grew very uncomfortable.

Their solution was to make me more like them, more human so as to feel more comfortable in their position. That it was what their mind (Matrix) was telling them to do and not having enough spiritual power, that it was what they ended up doing.

And so, as they were failing in their attempts to justify their inability to exchange pure love, the ‘mind’ started to create reasons to fund a war. Where, at first, there was a sense of security it grew insecurity, where there was affection grew resentment and where there was loyalty they saw ground for deception.

That very light that at the beginning was giving them strength was now making them feel weak and small. I became their target to which the Matrix threw its best weapons.

They left and went to find someone more human so to feel big, and by mirroring their “shortcomings”, feel safe.

The disloyalty in others, the lack of pure love, the limitations that comes from average interactions, was to them familiar ground. The mutual ruling of their ‘minds’ made it easier for their EGO, as they were not worried any longer about fighting it. The EGO/mind was safely at a place of command.

And so they went back to their human life, feeling a little surprised when they lost the power they thought they now owned. That boost of energy pure love flows disappeared.

In truth, the Power of Love, as it is for Awareness, are something you cannot steal or buy.

You have to be IT in order to own it.

woman-with-the-face-cover For me, I, at first experienced a lot of pain, I was in the dark for quite a while, till, and it wasn’t easy to realize, I saw them to be a mirror of my own fears to let completely go of the “dream” called Matrix.

Although I left in them the seed of pure love, which, with time and at their own pace, will guide them to awakening, they were the one helping me, to come back home, in the between dream area where I belong.






…and right in the mist of madness awareness is found.

This morning I was laying in bed looking at the ceiling. I was admiring the beautiful color of the wood. These long beams extending gracefully as if they were limbs of a tree inside the house.

“What a beautiful illusion!” I was thinking, while my eyes got caught by a nod of a very interesting shape, which started to became alive taking the semblance of a bail of hail in the middle of a large field.

I could actually see the energy moving, just as a friend describe it to me a while ago, recounting one of his allucinogeous trips.

You don’t just see the object. It is more like you, at the same time, are looking with different sets of eyes, and every sets gives you a different vision, making it complete, perhaps enabling several universes and dimension to interact and manifest in that instant, as one.

And you, could perhaps be aware of as many universes/dimensions as your limited mind can afford to support.

To abandon the superficial view of things and to dive into their essence has a great liability or an inestimable gift. You become it. You feel what every single cell/particle of energy feel, in their individual life cycle. And so it did happen, while looking at that beautiful ceiling, I heard the crying of the tree, it’s agony. For a moment I was able to look through his eyes, I felt his emotions right there, while he was still alive, breathing amongst his friends in the forest.

I had access to his memories. Suddenly, I was aware of his goals, his dreams. I cried with him, recalling the time he was taken away and his joy and desires cut to pieces.

But, to the mind, it is just a piece of wood, a little decoration. And so a chicken is a just a chicken, salad is just salad and, as any other form of life, seems to have no importance in a world where awareness is submerged, numbed by the narcotic effect of the “Matrix”.

And so, in the psychiatric wards you find people who are energetically “dead” and you also find those which are fully alive, alive to a point where they are now able to see, to talk to every cell, to every particle of energy as you would communicate to a composite being.

You look to a guy talking to a wall or a rock, stuck into a past by long ways gone as it was still there. And beside him you find another guy who “hears” life, the thinking cells full of life of which energy is composed, and to which, as in any other form in this illusion, is given a mind, a purpose, a task, dreams and goals.

And there you find the opposite sides of what we call sanity and madness, genius and dullness, exactly in the same place, where good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies co-exist. That’s where hyposensitive and hypersensitive are confined by the minds of the ‘average’, ‘normal’ man.

Matrix: Understanding the Empath’s code





“Many of the empath’s who came to me as patients and in my workshops feel overwhelmed, fatigue, and downright exhausted before they learn practical skills to help them cope with their sensitivities. They have often been diagnosed with agoraphobia, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, migraines, chronic pain, allergies and adrenal fatique (a form of burnout.) On an emotional level, they may experience anxiety, depression, or panic attacks.”  ♦ The empath’s survival guide by Judith Orloff, MD

-IMPORTANT NOTE: Please, do understand, there is no blame or desire of pity in anything written below. That is NOT the point. The intent of this post is purely of analysis and research. REMEMBER, every human form, every valence, race, form has his own code.-

I believe some of us were born with an ability to perceive beyond what most people perceive.


We were called ipersesitives, idealists, emotional. Some of us were punished. Our efforts to set boundaries in order to meet our needs of quiet and peace, were brutally shut.

Only recently as part of my self discovery I researched and found something worth knowing more about.



The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, MD – My profound gratitude goes to my amazing friend Christine, a friend Empath, for acquaintancing  me with this incredible book.




I had my share of trouble while growing up. I hated small talks and suffered in environments where superficiality was ruling.

My protection has always been to be funny. Laughing would take me away from my struggles while giving me a sense of protection toward people. In a way, my extreme jokes, would distance boys and definitely people who were busy defending a ‘cool-image’. The people, among which, I would feel most uncomfortable.

Constantly targeted by a mother who couldn’t stand my demands for transparency, demands which were slamming against her constant hiding and manipulating of people around her,  I was, then, easily punished for “being” myself.

Although my empathic abilities were always there, I wasn’t aware of them until one of my psychopath, sadist significant other, in 2008, strangled me forcing me to brutally face the unbearable pain of my feelings.

I knew my mother used to play this trick on us children. While she was the one stirring the frequent beatings from my violent father, she claimed to be the victim of such violence, gaining sympathy from the majority of us children.

Manipulation from your loved one is a hard and confusing thing for an empath to confront, due to the fact you feel sorry for their after-the-fact “guilt “. Guilt/sorrow they want you to experience while they watch you bleed as the result of their own stabbings.


“Energy vampires with a victim mentality drain empaths with their “The world is against me” attitude. They don’t take responsibility for the problems that happen in their lives. … Empaths often fall into the compassionate caretaker role with “victims,” trying to solve their list of problems.” 
♦ The empath’s survival guide by Judith Orloff, MD


Surrounded by insanity, deception and superficiality, the life of a young, unaware empath, can turn into a real nightmare. My dreams at young age were the proof of my extreme empathic perceptions. The sadistic behavior of my mother toward me in particularly (the one in the family she knew had the potential to see through her although I was just a little child), caused me frequent nightmares were I was painfully murdered, waking up, often, to a very real unbearable pain. If I had a fear in my childhood, it has always been to be interned in a spin-bin, or tortured by a psychopath. Depression, inexplicable migraines and illnesses where a norm till I remained in the family.

Unfortunately, not knowing about your extreme sensitivity, prompted by the never ending desire of a child to be loved and accepted,  you try to adjust, to change in any way you can, in order to become that “normal” which seems to win their love. Love, which for you, for one reason or another, seems always unavailable.

I now recognize, my early search for truth, my painful childhood was what prompted me to undertake a journey of study on the field of spiritual healing.

Mirroring the pain of mankind, I felt the desire to do something to help others. Healing others meant, unconsciously, to heal myself.

Many empaths solved their “survival problems” by alcohol and drugs abuse. I, instead, found in the sexual activity a way to reach, even if briefly, a deeper connection with another human being.

No matter the pain, I never wished to feel less, I always wanted to feel more.


EMPATHY is a beautiful word meaning the ability to feel the joy or pain of another as it is your own.


I always considered, while embracing the developing of telepathy and mind-reading, this ability to to be a gift, although, many times, it has been the cause of extreme discomfort.

After being involved in one too many unhealthy romantic partnerships with narcissists and psychopaths, after been told and made feel guilty, many times, for choosing them, as if they were a punishment for my “bad” deeds (?!?), I finally, discovered those people were not  a punishment at all. Narcissists, sociopath, vampires of energy are very well aware, an Empath, is their best choice to project and play their parasite games.

They know how to use your empathic abilities against yourself especially when you have no clue of what they are about..


“Energy vampires are attracted to the openness and loving heart of empaths. Sensitive people need to be prepared for them.”  ♦ The empath’s survival guide by Judith Orloff, MD

I remember the sadists psychopath, even after he strangled me, after he stole my savings leaving me penniless in the street with my child (he was making nearly 200 thousands a year), after ruining my reputation with lies to common friends to safeguard himself from the truth being disclosed; even after that, he expected me to keep him at the center of the universe. “Somebody is ill-advising her, she never refuses to do what I ask her to do. She does anything for me.“,  I remember his voice through the speakerphone while he was complaining to a friend of mine, about me disregarding his unreasonable demands, and reaching for legal advice’s in order to get back my savings.

Although I have been studying for almost 3 decades counselling procedures and received tons of it through my early affiliation with the Church of $cientology, it wasn’t till I separated from the “cult” that I actually made my major spiritual progresses. Year after year, working on the beauty of silence, egolessness, training myself to listen and to see without the use of the physical senses, by researching and studying many different mystics ans spiritual paths, having been blessed with amazing counselors (those which the Church of $cientology warns you against) I achieved clarity and a deeper understanding of what an Empath is.

Being an Empath, at the contrary of what I use to believe, to be a spiritual condition, is just a type of a program of the Matrix, and for what it is worth, when you dealing with the Matrix, or worse, when you mistakenly but quite commonly, identify yourself with it, it is a blessing to know more about it.

I know some of you suffer of depression. Some other have been labelled with mood disorder, or as bipolar. I have known quite a bit of people convinced this to be true while the truth, as I pointed out to them, is they were full-blown Empaths.

Is worth exploring this possibility.

Although true Empaths are not that many, if you are one, your life could greatly change for the better.


———- ♠ ———- 

Hi Silvia – I enjoyed reading your essay about empaths, of course the area is real to me. You made it public talking about your past and although you already in the past wrote about your abusive relationship here you display the roots. Indeed for a child being in a dramatizing environment the going gets tough. From then patterns are imprinted and it can be rock and roll from one side to a GPM to another.


You write you achieved clarity. I can follow that up in your posts indeed. I’m always curious 😉

On a more pragmatic level – you write the other side of the coin being that sexual activity to bond with another human being, I’m sorry to hear it’s only briefly. The proof being in the pudding, without any erotic connotation – did you after achieving that clarity on the matter as-is it in order to achieve a not brief sexual connection with a real romantic partnership?

I’m only curious, and ask since you made the subject public and thus open

Friendly 😉

Silvia K. answer:
Thank you for your writing. The briefly “refers” to the other party. My connection with people has always been intense and going past the material world. But for the average men, (or women for some men) it is only during the climax where he put down his walls. Fear rules most people into protecting their weakness and vulnerable spots.


If you’re not sincere yourself, you will be attracted to that kind of a teacher that’s as sincere as you are…

An excerpt from T25: Three Essential Questions Revisited
by Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works
“Before you got to sleep. Before you got to sleep, before you fall asleep, you ask yourself the third question, which is: “Where did God come from?”
Ask yourself three times. “Where did God come from? Where did this God come from? That I have believed in all of my life?” And you start to think about your childhood.
“When I was young I was brought up in a religion, whether it’s Catholic, or Protestant or Jewish, or Islam, or Hindu.
I was told to believe in God, but what do I know about God? Have I had an experience of God? Therefore God must be a belief, a concept, a preconceived idea. Where did this God come from?”
Now if you’ve been highly religious in one of the major religions, this is going to be so hard for you to do for you’ll think it’s blasphemous, I therefore ask you to investigate.
To intelligently look within yourself. Asking yourself, “Where did this God that I’ve believed in all my life, come from? And if you investigate deep enough, you will soon see, “I believe in God. I?” When I say, “I,” I’ve been referring to my body. So that means all of these years, my body has believed in God. And I has been the silent witness observing all of this. I has no belief.
I is neutral. It’s my body and my mind, that believe in some anthropomorphicb type of deity. Now I realize I is not the body, I is not the mind and I is not God.
Like the universe, like my body, it’s all a concept, a belief. God must be attached to I, just like everything else. And when I am able to transcend I, I will transcend the mistaken belief of God and become free.
So, Again you go back to “I – I, I – I.” You fall asleep doing this and you will wake up doing this. If you practice this my friends you will be free before you know it. You’ll be totally free and liberated.
I get many phone calls. One of the things I’m frequently asked is how do you tell a real teacher from a phony teacher? I don’t know why people are interested in things like that.
The answer is always the same. If you go within yourself honestly, sincerely and you
become devoted to your Self, you begin to love yourself, not the ego self, but yourself Self, and you really want to awaken, you will be attracted to the right teacher, or the right book, or the right tree, or the right rock.
But if you have many faults and you’re not sincere yourself, you will be attracted to that kind of a teacher that’s as sincere as you are and you’ll both look at each other.
So I hung up the phone Thursday night. Horat gave me…is Horat here?
No. He gave me a book to read. It’s by a woman named Lucy Marr. I knew her at Ramana Ashram.
She’s lived there for many years and I turned to a page and there it was the answer I was talking about. She really explains it in a wonderful way. Therefore if Mary would like to read this, I would be most appreciative.

Mary: This is titled, Gurus, Siddhas and Sinyasis.
-It is the mind that creates questions and goes in search of answers. It takes some time until it realizes this fact and gives up, but meanwhile it interferes continuously in the natural expansion of the seekers spiritual dimension.

Until then, question after question emerges and Ramana Maharshi stood patiently day by day against the flood. A collection of his replies to stray questions is given in the last chapter, however the three themes mentioned in the heading above may ask for a  treatment in some detail.

There is a wide spread hunting for the guru and a lot of so called gurus make quite a good business out of the distorted ideas about the guru and his function, that are prevalent everywhere.

Who then is a guru?
The satvas say that one must serve a guru for twelve years for getting to self-realization.
What does a guru do? Does he hand it over to the disciple? Is it not the Self always realized? What does the common belief mean then?
The man is always the Self and yet he does not know it. He confounds it with the non-self that is the body etc. Such confusion is due to ignorance. If ignorance be wiped out, the confusion will cease to exist and the true knowledge will be unfolded. By remaining in contact with realized Sages, the man will gradually lose the ignorance, until its removal is complete.
The eternal Self is thus revealed. The disciple surrenders himself to the Master. That means there is no vestige of individuality retained by the disciple. If the surrender is complete all sense of individuality is lost and there is thus no cause for misery. The eternal being is only happiness, that is revealed.
Without understanding it aright, people think that the guru teaches the disciple something like tat-tvam-asi and that the disciple realizes, “I am Brahman.” In their ignorance they conceive of Brahman as something more huge and powerful than anything else.
With a limited I the man is so stuck up and wild. What will be the case if the same I grows up enormous. He will be enormously ignorant and foolish. This false I must perish. Its annihilation is the fruit of guru Ishvara, the service to the guru. Realization is eternal and it is not newly brought about by the guru. He helps in the removal of ignorance, that is all.
The real guru is one who has realized the Self.
But how can we recognize him? He does not talk about himself. He behaves exactly as everybody else, and if he does not there is reason to be cautious.
There is only one quality by which he is reading in his silence, as well as in his talk. If you’re ready for him, he will meet you without any searching for him on your part, and only then can you be assured that he is the guru for you.
Meanwhile you are not without guidance from without. The inner guidance sends signals, as it were, ceaselessly. A certain sentence in a book, a smile on an infant, the beauty of a flower or a sunset. All of them can become the means for a sudden understanding, one of the minor enlightenments which adorn the path of the sincere seeker after truth.
All of them could become his or her guru.
The famous ancient saint said of himself that he had twenty-four gurus including inanimate objects. Even the first quest after the meaning of life is already prompted by the inner, the real guru.
There is a beautiful experience of Moses preserved in the tradition of Islam. When he complained, “Oh Lord, where shall I seek to find thee?” He heard the answer, “Thou wouldest not seek me if thou wouldest not already have found me.”
Who is it, that is in search for the guru? The longing is certainly prompted by the Self as is indicated, also the answer to Moses’ prayer. But it is the personal I that goes out hunting for an outer guru.
You will get exactly the kind of guru that corresponds to the stage of your development.
That usually means a rather low type because a guru of a higher standard is of no use to a disciple of limited understanding. The receiver has to be tuned to the wavelength of the transmitter for receiving and diversity. Thus even if there is a meeting with a realized soul, the guru need not refuse the disciple, because the disciple will not even perceive the presence of greatness, since his inner senses are still clouded.
He will be like a man who went in search for chinasamani, a celestial gem that fulfills every desire. Who found it, and threw it away when he saw a colorful pebble.
Of the worst kind among the many gurus nowadays are those who are deliberately exploiting those hunting for a guru. Their method of catching the trustful ignorant is often a mystifying show of ceremony, incantations, dark hints and even threats of black magic powers with reference to traditions.
Sri Ramana Maharshi said about these: The books say that there are so many kinds of initiations. They also say that the guru makes some rite for him with fire, water, Japa, mantra, nesessa and call such fantastic performances, diksha, initiations. As if the disciple becomes ripe only after such practices have gone through by the guru.
The most potent form of work is silence, however vast and ecstatic the sastras may be, they fail in their effect. The guru is quiet, and peace prevails in all. This silence is more vast and more emphatic than all the sastras put together. But when the faith guru is clever enough, he may even feign this attitude also.
Another type of self styled guru may not only deceive the would be disciple but also himself.
He might have some intellectual knowledge of the truth and will be able to teach the same as far as this limited knowledge goes. The sincere seeker after truth will one fade or another by the silent grace of his inner guidance. Recognize the limitation of the would be guru and leave him perhaps for another one. Or perhaps he has ripened enough in the meantime so that he will now recognize the voice of the inner guru, of the Self and accept it, unreservedly. Or he might follow the way of Dhata Raya and learn to see the guru in all as everything which amounts to practically the same thing.
Now there’s a strange fact that Ramana Maharshi himself refused to be the guru of his
devotees, or to be exact, he never initiated any of them in the traditional way. Some of them are known to have left him, though they loved and worshipped him because they thought themselves unable to proceed spiritually without an outer guru. How is this strange attitude of his to be understood?
Is it strange to shun the responsibility which the guru is expected to take over in respect to his devotee?
According to tradition, a guru who accepts a disciple also takes over his karma, bad as it maybe.
No, Sri Ramana Maharshi was only being consistent. He lived what he taught, “The realization of the one without a second.”
When there is only one Brahman where is the place for guru and disciple?
A guru presupposes a disciple, a disciple a guru, they are invariably two. Can there be two Selves? The one guiding the other? A true guidance is possible only when the Self of the guru and that of the disciple is one and the same Self.
The real function of the guru, the higher and more efficient than his teaching, is his power of contact. Removing the ignorance of the disciple by direct transmission. This of course is possible only when the guru has himself realized the truth.
This power is so real that Ramana Maharshi always gave the greatest importance to satsang.
The contact of highly advanced souls.
Because their purity, wisdom and compassion are contagious, like health and peace.
This is the actual danger of surrender to a wrong guru. That his cunning, vanity and
selfishness are just as contagious. Even the experience of everyday life, shows the danger of people coming to him. Though he usually is taken as an evil example only. But even in that case the bad influence goes deeper. It is immediately contagious, like a disease, may the inner guru protect.
This mysterious land lost in the sea, granting the gift of the supreme truth to those who
find the path into its hidden depths also still keeps many of the secrets of magic techniques and powers called siddhas.
The number of seekers after these secrets will probably out number those who search after truth. So it is widely known that Ramana Maharshi did not appreciate such tendencies, usually connected with yoga sadhana. Now and again he was asked about submission of siddhas within the frame of the search of the Self.
“One!” he declared, “The Self is the most intimate and eternal being, whereas the siddhas are born.” The one requires effort to acquire, the other does not.
The powers of thought by the mind which must be kept alert, whereas the Self is realized when the mind is destroyed. The power is manifest only when there is the ego.
The Self is beyond the ego and is realized after the ego is eliminated.
Where is the use of occult powers for the self-realized being?
Self-realization may be accompanied by occult powers or it may not be. If a person has sought such a power before realization, he may get them after realization.
There are others who have not sort such powers and have attempted only self-realization. They do not manifest.
Among the visitors at this stage was Mr Evan Wendt, the well known Tibetologist. He too
asked for an explanation on the value of occult powers.
Ramana Maharshi replied, “The occult powers are only in the mind. They are not natural in the Self. That which is not natural but acquired cannot be permanent, is not worth striving for. They denote extended powers.
A man is possessed of limited powers and is miserable. He wants to expand his powers so that he may be happy. But consider if it will be so, that with limited perception one is miserable, with extended perception the misery must increase proportionately. Occult powers will not bring happiness to anyone, but will make him all the more miserable.”
Moreover what are these powers for? The would be occultist desires to display the siddhas, so that others may appreciate them.
He seeks the appreciation and if it is not forthcoming he will not be happy. He may even find another possessor of higher powers.
That will cause jealousy, infuriating his unhappiness.
So which is the real power? Is it to increase prosperity? Or bring about peace?
That which results in peace is the highest perfection of siddhi’s.
The root idea in Sri Ramana’s attitude, to the phenomena of ESP or extra sensory perception or siddhas, nowadays as scientifically labelled, is easily discovered. ESP experience belongs to the personal I. The teachings of the Sage of Arunachala revolves around hunting the I until it submits.
To seek and attain siddhas is to strengthen it. That settles the matter once and for all.
Sinyasis was in ancient India, the fourth and last of the Ashrama, the stations of life.
The first of them was represented by the boy, who was sent to live as the gomasharya, with the guru to serve him and be trained in the scriptures.
The second stage was his life as a householder after incurring marriage in which he carried out his duties to those around him and made his contribution to the collective. When his sons were settled and his daughters married he was free to retire. However he was not the idea of retirement to a comfortable life, of enjoying the well earned fruits of a life of work and trial.
The third stage of the Ashrama was a quiet life of renunciation in the woods, in meditation and prayer, in longing for enlightenment.
These first three periods conform to custom and convention but the last one, sinyasi, the total renunciation of what is expected to assert itself at its own time and under its own conditions.
This fact was behind Ramana Maharshi’s somewhat enigmatic reply to a questioner, to
whether the questioner should embrace sinyasa. If you should, you would not have asked.
The traditional idea about sinyasa is explained in a rather certain yudusta in the bhagavatam book. It is that satvanyasis whole endeavor to be directed toward the discovery of the true Self at the point of contact between deep sleep and the waking state.
He should look upon both bondage and freedom, birth and death as unreal. He should not read profane books or live by any profession, nor indulge in politics, nor take sides in a partisan sphere, nor accept disciples nor do much reading, which would divert his mind from his spiritual practice, nor make speeches, nor undertake any responsible work.
After attaining enlightenment he may continue to behave as before or alter his ways that would suit his demeanor.
To give no sign by which others to recognize his attainment. He retains his usual mode of life or pursuit.
Sri Ramana Maharshi never encouraged people who thought of assuming the formal sinyasi.
Though he hereby seemingly contradicted himself.
When pointed out that he himself had cut all connection with his family life and home, he simply replied that it was a matter of karma. Discussing the subject, he saw the motivation in most cases, it is escapism through disappointment with a weary and unsuccessful life. Almost as often it is a matter of self importance. Being in modest or even poor circumstances, you are nobody.
As a Sinyasi you are somebody, at least in the eyes of some people. There might be a third motive for a minority, impatience. They are not satisfied with the slow rate of their spiritual progress.
All three kinds of motivation and all others as well respond to the prompting of the ego I.
Therefore Ramana Maharshi gave a typical reply, “Why do you think you are a  householder?
If you go out as a sinyasi, these similar thoughts if you are a sinyasi will haunt you?
Whether you continue in a household or renounce, or go to the forest, your mind haunts you.
The ego is the source that bothers you. If you renounce the world, it will only substitute the thoughts you renounced as a householder and the environment that is enforced are those of the householder.
But the mental obstacles are always there. They increase in new surroundings. There is no help in the change of environments.
The obstacle in the mind is in the mind. It must be gotten over, whether at home or in the forest. If you can do it in the forest why not in the home? Therefore why change the environment? Your efforts is to be made in the now, in whatever environment you may be. Environment never abandons you according to your desire. Look at me, I left home. Look at yourselves. You have come here leaving the home environment. What do you find here? Is this different from what you left?”
As an answer to another question he replied, “Sinyasa is to renounce ones individuality.
This is not the same as ?? and ochre robes. A man maybe a householder, yet if he does not think he is a householder, he is a sinyasi.
On the contrary a man may wear ochre robes and wander about. Yet if he thinks he is a sinyasi, he’s not that. To think of sinyasa, he thinks it’s his own ???
Sinyasa is meant for one who is fit. It consists of renunciation, not of material objects but of attachment to them. Sinyasa can be practiced by anyone. Even at home. Only one must be supervised closely.”
It is the silent wisdom of this mysterious land, lost in the sea of the twentieth century.
Just as it was millenniums ago when it was expressed in Manu’s law of sinyasi.
He should not wish to die nor hope to live, but await the time appointed, as the servant awaits his wages.
Will not show anger to one who is angry.
He must bless the man who curses him.
He must not utter falsehood.
Rejoicing in the things of this earth, calm, caring for nothing, abstaining from sensual pleasures.
Himself the only helper, he may live on in the world in the hope of eternal bliss.
Thus sinyasa is neither showy, nor brilliant, nor a very attractive path, but just the one on which truth is likely to meet the wanderer, provided that he is a true sinyasi.”
Robert Adams: ” …But true surrender means that you have to really surrender everything. You have no thoughts of your own. You have no mind of your own. You have no ideas of your own. “Thy will be done, not mine.” It’s hard to do for most people. But if you give up all of your thoughts it is the same as self-inquiry. Therefore total surrender means, giving up your personal sense of I.
Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works

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