…and right in the mist of madness awareness is found.

This morning I was laying in bed looking at the ceiling. I was admiring the beautiful color of the wood. These long beams extending gracefully as if they were limbs of a tree inside the house.

“What a beautiful illusion!” I was thinking, while my eyes got caught by a nod of a very interesting shape, which started to became alive taking the semblance of a bail of hail in the middle of a large field.

I could actually see the energy moving, just as a friend describe it to me a while ago, recounting one of his allucinogeous trips.

You don’t just see the object. It is more like you, at the same time, are looking with different sets of eyes, and every sets gives you a different vision, making it complete, perhaps enabling several universes and dimension to interact and manifest in that instant, as one.

And you, could perhaps be aware of as many universes/dimensions as your limited mind can afford to support.

To abandon the superficial view of things and to dive into their essence has a great liability or an inestimable gift. You become it. You feel what every single cell/particle of energy feel, in their individual life cycle. And so it did happen, while looking at that beautiful ceiling, I heard the crying of the tree, it’s agony. For a moment I was able to look through his eyes, I felt his emotions right there, while he was still alive, breathing amongst his friends in the forest.

I had access to his memories. Suddenly, I was aware of his goals, his dreams. I cried with him, recalling the time he was taken away and his joy and desires cut to pieces.

But, to the mind, it is just a piece of wood, a little decoration. And so a chicken is a just a chicken, salad is just salad and, as any other form of life, seems to have no importance in a world where awareness is submerged, numbed by the narcotic effect of the “Matrix”.

And so, in the psychiatric wards you find people who are energetically “dead” and you also find those which are fully alive, alive to a point where they are now able to see, to talk to every cell, to every particle of energy as you would communicate to a composite being.

You look to a guy talking to a wall or a rock, stuck into a past by long ways gone as it was still there. And beside him you find another guy who “hears” life, the thinking cells full of life of which energy is composed, and to which, as in any other form in this illusion, is given a mind, a purpose, a task, dreams and goals.

And there you find the opposite sides of what we call sanity and madness, genius and dullness, exactly in the same place, where good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies co-exist. That’s where hyposensitive and hypersensitive are confined by the minds of the ‘average’, ‘normal’ man.

Matrix: Understanding the Empath’s code





“Many of the empath’s who came to me as patients and in my workshops feel overwhelmed, fatigue, and downright exhausted before they learn practical skills to help them cope with their sensitivities. They have often been diagnosed with agoraphobia, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, migraines, chronic pain, allergies and adrenal fatique (a form of burnout.) On an emotional level, they may experience anxiety, depression, or panic attacks.”  ♦ The empath’s survival guide by Judith Orloff, MD

-IMPORTANT NOTE: Please, do understand, there is no blame or desire of pity in anything written below. That is NOT the point. The intent of this post is purely of analysis and research. REMEMBER, every human form, every valence, race, form has his own code.-

I believe some of us were born with an ability to perceive beyond what most people perceive.


We were called ipersesitives, idealists, emotional. Some of us were punished. Our efforts to set boundaries in order to meet our needs of quiet and peace, were brutally shut.

Only recently as part of my self discovery I researched and found something worth knowing more about.



The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, MD – My profound gratitude goes to my amazing friend Christine, a friend Empath, for acquaintancing  me with this incredible book.




I had my share of trouble while growing up. I hated small talks and suffered in environments where superficiality was ruling.

My protection has always been to be funny. Laughing would take me away from my struggles while giving me a sense of protection toward people. In a way, my extreme jokes, would distance boys and definitely people who were busy defending a ‘cool-image’. The people, among which, I would feel most uncomfortable.

Constantly targeted by a mother who couldn’t stand my demands for transparency, demands which were slamming against her constant hiding and manipulating of people around her,  I was, then, easily punished for “being” myself.

Although my empathic abilities were always there, I wasn’t aware of them until one of my psychopath, sadist significant other, in 2008, strangled me forcing me to brutally face the unbearable pain of my feelings.

I knew my mother used to play this trick on us children. While she was the one stirring the frequent beatings from my violent father, she claimed to be the victim of such violence, gaining sympathy from the majority of us children.

Manipulation from your loved one is a hard and confusing thing for an empath to confront, due to the fact you feel sorry for their after-the-fact “guilt “. Guilt/sorrow they want you to experience while they watch you bleed as the result of their own stabbings.


“Energy vampires with a victim mentality drain empaths with their “The world is against me” attitude. They don’t take responsibility for the problems that happen in their lives. … Empaths often fall into the compassionate caretaker role with “victims,” trying to solve their list of problems.” 
♦ The empath’s survival guide by Judith Orloff, MD


Surrounded by insanity, deception and superficiality, the life of a young, unaware empath, can turn into a real nightmare. My dreams at young age were the proof of my extreme empathic perceptions. The sadistic behavior of my mother toward me in particularly (the one in the family she knew had the potential to see through her although I was just a little child), caused me frequent nightmares were I was painfully murdered, waking up, often, to a very real unbearable pain. If I had a fear in my childhood, it has always been to be interned in a spin-bin, or tortured by a psychopath. Depression, inexplicable migraines and illnesses where a norm till I remained in the family.

Unfortunately, not knowing about your extreme sensitivity, prompted by the never ending desire of a child to be loved and accepted,  you try to adjust, to change in any way you can, in order to become that “normal” which seems to win their love. Love, which for you, for one reason or another, seems always unavailable.

I now recognize, my early search for truth, my painful childhood was what prompted me to undertake a journey of study on the field of spiritual healing.

Mirroring the pain of mankind, I felt the desire to do something to help others. Healing others meant, unconsciously, to heal myself.

Many empaths solved their “survival problems” by alcohol and drugs abuse. I, instead, found in the sexual activity a way to reach, even if briefly, a deeper connection with another human being.

No matter the pain, I never wished to feel less, I always wanted to feel more.


EMPATHY is a beautiful word meaning the ability to feel the joy or pain of another as it is your own.


I always considered, while embracing the developing of telepathy and mind-reading, this ability to to be a gift, although, many times, it has been the cause of extreme discomfort.

After being involved in one too many unhealthy romantic partnerships with narcissists and psychopaths, after been told and made feel guilty, many times, for choosing them, as if they were a punishment for my “bad” deeds (?!?), I finally, discovered those people were not  a punishment at all. Narcissists, sociopath, vampires of energy are very well aware, an Empath, is their best choice to project and play their parasite games.

They know how to use your empathic abilities against yourself especially when you have no clue of what they are about..


“Energy vampires are attracted to the openness and loving heart of empaths. Sensitive people need to be prepared for them.”  ♦ The empath’s survival guide by Judith Orloff, MD

I remember the sadists psychopath, even after he strangled me, after he stole my savings leaving me penniless in the street with my child (he was making nearly 200 thousands a year), after ruining my reputation with lies to common friends to safeguard himself from the truth being disclosed; even after that, he expected me to keep him at the center of the universe. “Somebody is ill-advising her, she never refuses to do what I ask her to do. She does anything for me.“,  I remember his voice through the speakerphone while he was complaining to a friend of mine, about me disregarding his unreasonable demands, and reaching for legal advice’s in order to get back my savings.

Although I have been studying for almost 3 decades counselling procedures and received tons of it through my early affiliation with the Church of $cientology, it wasn’t till I separated from the “cult” that I actually made my major spiritual progresses. Year after year, working on the beauty of silence, egolessness, training myself to listen and to see without the use of the physical senses, by researching and studying many different mystics ans spiritual paths, having been blessed with amazing counselors (those which the Church of $cientology warns you against) I achieved clarity and a deeper understanding of what an Empath is.

Being an Empath, at the contrary of what I use to believe, to be a spiritual condition, is just a type of a program of the Matrix, and for what it is worth, when you dealing with the Matrix, or worse, when you mistakenly but quite commonly, identify yourself with it, it is a blessing to know more about it.

I know some of you suffer of depression. Some other have been labelled with mood disorder, or as bipolar. I have known quite a bit of people convinced this to be true while the truth, as I pointed out to them, is they were full-blown Empaths.

Is worth exploring this possibility.

Although true Empaths are not that many, if you are one, your life could greatly change for the better.


———- ♠ ———- 

Hi Silvia – I enjoyed reading your essay about empaths, of course the area is real to me. You made it public talking about your past and although you already in the past wrote about your abusive relationship here you display the roots. Indeed for a child being in a dramatizing environment the going gets tough. From then patterns are imprinted and it can be rock and roll from one side to a GPM to another.


You write you achieved clarity. I can follow that up in your posts indeed. I’m always curious 😉

On a more pragmatic level – you write the other side of the coin being that sexual activity to bond with another human being, I’m sorry to hear it’s only briefly. The proof being in the pudding, without any erotic connotation – did you after achieving that clarity on the matter as-is it in order to achieve a not brief sexual connection with a real romantic partnership?

I’m only curious, and ask since you made the subject public and thus open

Friendly 😉

Silvia K. answer:
Thank you for your writing. The briefly “refers” to the other party. My connection with people has always been intense and going past the material world. But for the average men, (or women for some men) it is only during the climax where he put down his walls. Fear rules most people into protecting their weakness and vulnerable spots.


If you’re not sincere yourself, you will be attracted to that kind of a teacher that’s as sincere as you are…

An excerpt from T25: Three Essential Questions Revisited
by Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works
“Before you got to sleep. Before you got to sleep, before you fall asleep, you ask yourself the third question, which is: “Where did God come from?”
Ask yourself three times. “Where did God come from? Where did this God come from? That I have believed in all of my life?” And you start to think about your childhood.
“When I was young I was brought up in a religion, whether it’s Catholic, or Protestant or Jewish, or Islam, or Hindu.
I was told to believe in God, but what do I know about God? Have I had an experience of God? Therefore God must be a belief, a concept, a preconceived idea. Where did this God come from?”
Now if you’ve been highly religious in one of the major religions, this is going to be so hard for you to do for you’ll think it’s blasphemous, I therefore ask you to investigate.
To intelligently look within yourself. Asking yourself, “Where did this God that I’ve believed in all my life, come from? And if you investigate deep enough, you will soon see, “I believe in God. I?” When I say, “I,” I’ve been referring to my body. So that means all of these years, my body has believed in God. And I has been the silent witness observing all of this. I has no belief.
I is neutral. It’s my body and my mind, that believe in some anthropomorphicb type of deity. Now I realize I is not the body, I is not the mind and I is not God.
Like the universe, like my body, it’s all a concept, a belief. God must be attached to I, just like everything else. And when I am able to transcend I, I will transcend the mistaken belief of God and become free.
So, Again you go back to “I – I, I – I.” You fall asleep doing this and you will wake up doing this. If you practice this my friends you will be free before you know it. You’ll be totally free and liberated.
I get many phone calls. One of the things I’m frequently asked is how do you tell a real teacher from a phony teacher? I don’t know why people are interested in things like that.
The answer is always the same. If you go within yourself honestly, sincerely and you
become devoted to your Self, you begin to love yourself, not the ego self, but yourself Self, and you really want to awaken, you will be attracted to the right teacher, or the right book, or the right tree, or the right rock.
But if you have many faults and you’re not sincere yourself, you will be attracted to that kind of a teacher that’s as sincere as you are and you’ll both look at each other.
So I hung up the phone Thursday night. Horat gave me…is Horat here?
No. He gave me a book to read. It’s by a woman named Lucy Marr. I knew her at Ramana Ashram.
She’s lived there for many years and I turned to a page and there it was the answer I was talking about. She really explains it in a wonderful way. Therefore if Mary would like to read this, I would be most appreciative.

Mary: This is titled, Gurus, Siddhas and Sinyasis.
-It is the mind that creates questions and goes in search of answers. It takes some time until it realizes this fact and gives up, but meanwhile it interferes continuously in the natural expansion of the seekers spiritual dimension.

Until then, question after question emerges and Ramana Maharshi stood patiently day by day against the flood. A collection of his replies to stray questions is given in the last chapter, however the three themes mentioned in the heading above may ask for a  treatment in some detail.

There is a wide spread hunting for the guru and a lot of so called gurus make quite a good business out of the distorted ideas about the guru and his function, that are prevalent everywhere.

Who then is a guru?
The satvas say that one must serve a guru for twelve years for getting to self-realization.
What does a guru do? Does he hand it over to the disciple? Is it not the Self always realized? What does the common belief mean then?
The man is always the Self and yet he does not know it. He confounds it with the non-self that is the body etc. Such confusion is due to ignorance. If ignorance be wiped out, the confusion will cease to exist and the true knowledge will be unfolded. By remaining in contact with realized Sages, the man will gradually lose the ignorance, until its removal is complete.
The eternal Self is thus revealed. The disciple surrenders himself to the Master. That means there is no vestige of individuality retained by the disciple. If the surrender is complete all sense of individuality is lost and there is thus no cause for misery. The eternal being is only happiness, that is revealed.
Without understanding it aright, people think that the guru teaches the disciple something like tat-tvam-asi and that the disciple realizes, “I am Brahman.” In their ignorance they conceive of Brahman as something more huge and powerful than anything else.
With a limited I the man is so stuck up and wild. What will be the case if the same I grows up enormous. He will be enormously ignorant and foolish. This false I must perish. Its annihilation is the fruit of guru Ishvara, the service to the guru. Realization is eternal and it is not newly brought about by the guru. He helps in the removal of ignorance, that is all.
The real guru is one who has realized the Self.
But how can we recognize him? He does not talk about himself. He behaves exactly as everybody else, and if he does not there is reason to be cautious.
There is only one quality by which he is reading in his silence, as well as in his talk. If you’re ready for him, he will meet you without any searching for him on your part, and only then can you be assured that he is the guru for you.
Meanwhile you are not without guidance from without. The inner guidance sends signals, as it were, ceaselessly. A certain sentence in a book, a smile on an infant, the beauty of a flower or a sunset. All of them can become the means for a sudden understanding, one of the minor enlightenments which adorn the path of the sincere seeker after truth.
All of them could become his or her guru.
The famous ancient saint said of himself that he had twenty-four gurus including inanimate objects. Even the first quest after the meaning of life is already prompted by the inner, the real guru.
There is a beautiful experience of Moses preserved in the tradition of Islam. When he complained, “Oh Lord, where shall I seek to find thee?” He heard the answer, “Thou wouldest not seek me if thou wouldest not already have found me.”
Who is it, that is in search for the guru? The longing is certainly prompted by the Self as is indicated, also the answer to Moses’ prayer. But it is the personal I that goes out hunting for an outer guru.
You will get exactly the kind of guru that corresponds to the stage of your development.
That usually means a rather low type because a guru of a higher standard is of no use to a disciple of limited understanding. The receiver has to be tuned to the wavelength of the transmitter for receiving and diversity. Thus even if there is a meeting with a realized soul, the guru need not refuse the disciple, because the disciple will not even perceive the presence of greatness, since his inner senses are still clouded.
He will be like a man who went in search for chinasamani, a celestial gem that fulfills every desire. Who found it, and threw it away when he saw a colorful pebble.
Of the worst kind among the many gurus nowadays are those who are deliberately exploiting those hunting for a guru. Their method of catching the trustful ignorant is often a mystifying show of ceremony, incantations, dark hints and even threats of black magic powers with reference to traditions.
Sri Ramana Maharshi said about these: The books say that there are so many kinds of initiations. They also say that the guru makes some rite for him with fire, water, Japa, mantra, nesessa and call such fantastic performances, diksha, initiations. As if the disciple becomes ripe only after such practices have gone through by the guru.
The most potent form of work is silence, however vast and ecstatic the sastras may be, they fail in their effect. The guru is quiet, and peace prevails in all. This silence is more vast and more emphatic than all the sastras put together. But when the faith guru is clever enough, he may even feign this attitude also.
Another type of self styled guru may not only deceive the would be disciple but also himself.
He might have some intellectual knowledge of the truth and will be able to teach the same as far as this limited knowledge goes. The sincere seeker after truth will one fade or another by the silent grace of his inner guidance. Recognize the limitation of the would be guru and leave him perhaps for another one. Or perhaps he has ripened enough in the meantime so that he will now recognize the voice of the inner guru, of the Self and accept it, unreservedly. Or he might follow the way of Dhata Raya and learn to see the guru in all as everything which amounts to practically the same thing.
Now there’s a strange fact that Ramana Maharshi himself refused to be the guru of his
devotees, or to be exact, he never initiated any of them in the traditional way. Some of them are known to have left him, though they loved and worshipped him because they thought themselves unable to proceed spiritually without an outer guru. How is this strange attitude of his to be understood?
Is it strange to shun the responsibility which the guru is expected to take over in respect to his devotee?
According to tradition, a guru who accepts a disciple also takes over his karma, bad as it maybe.
No, Sri Ramana Maharshi was only being consistent. He lived what he taught, “The realization of the one without a second.”
When there is only one Brahman where is the place for guru and disciple?
A guru presupposes a disciple, a disciple a guru, they are invariably two. Can there be two Selves? The one guiding the other? A true guidance is possible only when the Self of the guru and that of the disciple is one and the same Self.
The real function of the guru, the higher and more efficient than his teaching, is his power of contact. Removing the ignorance of the disciple by direct transmission. This of course is possible only when the guru has himself realized the truth.
This power is so real that Ramana Maharshi always gave the greatest importance to satsang.
The contact of highly advanced souls.
Because their purity, wisdom and compassion are contagious, like health and peace.
This is the actual danger of surrender to a wrong guru. That his cunning, vanity and
selfishness are just as contagious. Even the experience of everyday life, shows the danger of people coming to him. Though he usually is taken as an evil example only. But even in that case the bad influence goes deeper. It is immediately contagious, like a disease, may the inner guru protect.
This mysterious land lost in the sea, granting the gift of the supreme truth to those who
find the path into its hidden depths also still keeps many of the secrets of magic techniques and powers called siddhas.
The number of seekers after these secrets will probably out number those who search after truth. So it is widely known that Ramana Maharshi did not appreciate such tendencies, usually connected with yoga sadhana. Now and again he was asked about submission of siddhas within the frame of the search of the Self.
“One!” he declared, “The Self is the most intimate and eternal being, whereas the siddhas are born.” The one requires effort to acquire, the other does not.
The powers of thought by the mind which must be kept alert, whereas the Self is realized when the mind is destroyed. The power is manifest only when there is the ego.
The Self is beyond the ego and is realized after the ego is eliminated.
Where is the use of occult powers for the self-realized being?
Self-realization may be accompanied by occult powers or it may not be. If a person has sought such a power before realization, he may get them after realization.
There are others who have not sort such powers and have attempted only self-realization. They do not manifest.
Among the visitors at this stage was Mr Evan Wendt, the well known Tibetologist. He too
asked for an explanation on the value of occult powers.
Ramana Maharshi replied, “The occult powers are only in the mind. They are not natural in the Self. That which is not natural but acquired cannot be permanent, is not worth striving for. They denote extended powers.
A man is possessed of limited powers and is miserable. He wants to expand his powers so that he may be happy. But consider if it will be so, that with limited perception one is miserable, with extended perception the misery must increase proportionately. Occult powers will not bring happiness to anyone, but will make him all the more miserable.”
Moreover what are these powers for? The would be occultist desires to display the siddhas, so that others may appreciate them.
He seeks the appreciation and if it is not forthcoming he will not be happy. He may even find another possessor of higher powers.
That will cause jealousy, infuriating his unhappiness.
So which is the real power? Is it to increase prosperity? Or bring about peace?
That which results in peace is the highest perfection of siddhi’s.
The root idea in Sri Ramana’s attitude, to the phenomena of ESP or extra sensory perception or siddhas, nowadays as scientifically labelled, is easily discovered. ESP experience belongs to the personal I. The teachings of the Sage of Arunachala revolves around hunting the I until it submits.
To seek and attain siddhas is to strengthen it. That settles the matter once and for all.
Sinyasis was in ancient India, the fourth and last of the Ashrama, the stations of life.
The first of them was represented by the boy, who was sent to live as the gomasharya, with the guru to serve him and be trained in the scriptures.
The second stage was his life as a householder after incurring marriage in which he carried out his duties to those around him and made his contribution to the collective. When his sons were settled and his daughters married he was free to retire. However he was not the idea of retirement to a comfortable life, of enjoying the well earned fruits of a life of work and trial.
The third stage of the Ashrama was a quiet life of renunciation in the woods, in meditation and prayer, in longing for enlightenment.
These first three periods conform to custom and convention but the last one, sinyasi, the total renunciation of what is expected to assert itself at its own time and under its own conditions.
This fact was behind Ramana Maharshi’s somewhat enigmatic reply to a questioner, to
whether the questioner should embrace sinyasa. If you should, you would not have asked.
The traditional idea about sinyasa is explained in a rather certain yudusta in the bhagavatam book. It is that satvanyasis whole endeavor to be directed toward the discovery of the true Self at the point of contact between deep sleep and the waking state.
He should look upon both bondage and freedom, birth and death as unreal. He should not read profane books or live by any profession, nor indulge in politics, nor take sides in a partisan sphere, nor accept disciples nor do much reading, which would divert his mind from his spiritual practice, nor make speeches, nor undertake any responsible work.
After attaining enlightenment he may continue to behave as before or alter his ways that would suit his demeanor.
To give no sign by which others to recognize his attainment. He retains his usual mode of life or pursuit.
Sri Ramana Maharshi never encouraged people who thought of assuming the formal sinyasi.
Though he hereby seemingly contradicted himself.
When pointed out that he himself had cut all connection with his family life and home, he simply replied that it was a matter of karma. Discussing the subject, he saw the motivation in most cases, it is escapism through disappointment with a weary and unsuccessful life. Almost as often it is a matter of self importance. Being in modest or even poor circumstances, you are nobody.
As a Sinyasi you are somebody, at least in the eyes of some people. There might be a third motive for a minority, impatience. They are not satisfied with the slow rate of their spiritual progress.
All three kinds of motivation and all others as well respond to the prompting of the ego I.
Therefore Ramana Maharshi gave a typical reply, “Why do you think you are a  householder?
If you go out as a sinyasi, these similar thoughts if you are a sinyasi will haunt you?
Whether you continue in a household or renounce, or go to the forest, your mind haunts you.
The ego is the source that bothers you. If you renounce the world, it will only substitute the thoughts you renounced as a householder and the environment that is enforced are those of the householder.
But the mental obstacles are always there. They increase in new surroundings. There is no help in the change of environments.
The obstacle in the mind is in the mind. It must be gotten over, whether at home or in the forest. If you can do it in the forest why not in the home? Therefore why change the environment? Your efforts is to be made in the now, in whatever environment you may be. Environment never abandons you according to your desire. Look at me, I left home. Look at yourselves. You have come here leaving the home environment. What do you find here? Is this different from what you left?”
As an answer to another question he replied, “Sinyasa is to renounce ones individuality.
This is not the same as ?? and ochre robes. A man maybe a householder, yet if he does not think he is a householder, he is a sinyasi.
On the contrary a man may wear ochre robes and wander about. Yet if he thinks he is a sinyasi, he’s not that. To think of sinyasa, he thinks it’s his own ???
Sinyasa is meant for one who is fit. It consists of renunciation, not of material objects but of attachment to them. Sinyasa can be practiced by anyone. Even at home. Only one must be supervised closely.”
It is the silent wisdom of this mysterious land, lost in the sea of the twentieth century.
Just as it was millenniums ago when it was expressed in Manu’s law of sinyasi.
He should not wish to die nor hope to live, but await the time appointed, as the servant awaits his wages.
Will not show anger to one who is angry.
He must bless the man who curses him.
He must not utter falsehood.
Rejoicing in the things of this earth, calm, caring for nothing, abstaining from sensual pleasures.
Himself the only helper, he may live on in the world in the hope of eternal bliss.
Thus sinyasa is neither showy, nor brilliant, nor a very attractive path, but just the one on which truth is likely to meet the wanderer, provided that he is a true sinyasi.”
Robert Adams: ” …But true surrender means that you have to really surrender everything. You have no thoughts of your own. You have no mind of your own. You have no ideas of your own. “Thy will be done, not mine.” It’s hard to do for most people. But if you give up all of your thoughts it is the same as self-inquiry. Therefore total surrender means, giving up your personal sense of I.
Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works

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The conditions of life by LRH: a promise of success which deepens you into failure.

Perhaps, it is true, some of us need to touch happiness and success in order to realize it will never give you what you expect: total fulfillment.


Who really wants to find out that everything they thought was real was nothing but a pocket full of dreams? Who wants to find out that everything they hold onto and cling to is the very reason that they suffer?
— Adyashanti



Perhaps, it is also true, the many formulas Mr. Hubbard wrote down are useful as beginning steps, but it is also true, if you are aware of the fact you are not a body and this “theater” of life an illusion, applying these formulas will be like digging your own grave. A grave of unconsciousness, of self deceptions and lies.


By saying this, the ones who still identified with the body, mind and thoughts and all their activities of having a job, dealing with health, family and friends,  will probably use this post to beef up their ego and just do what their ego requests.

But, be aware, I’m not talking to them, I’m talking to those aware enough to naturally know by personal experience, the energy world to be all connected, the ones able to afford empathy and unconditional love. The ones who, by pure awareness, do not respond or are influenced by the laws of the physical world, by karma, by cause and effect.

So, when you are approaching the first step of confusion of Mr. Hubbard ethic conditions and you are asked : FIND OUT WHERE YOU ARE.


When you truly know you are not here and you are not anywhere really, you are unable to continue to the sub-steps  which requires you to reoriented yourself into the area in which you are and in which you were. Such sub-steps throw you right back into the illusion; the static does not have space-time-form or matter.

Condition of treason: FIND OUT THAT YOU ARE. Does require you to have a post (an assumed identify) and in order to have a post: again, you have to identify with the illusion.


Unless you continue to identify with an assumed identity you are unable to move on.

The reason I’m writing this post is because during my association with the Church of $cientology I always felt something was wrong. If I was to answer what I felt to be true, nothing else would have worked. And, of course, in a system where money is the underlying motivation, where the promise of freedom is only a way to lure you into producing more valuable matter, you are not allowed to remove your shackles and fly free.

I know there are others out there who suffered as much as I did while associating with those “merchant of freedom”, who had problem to fit in within their arbitrary boundaries of manipulations. Who had to compromise what they felt to be true, in order to find out more.


As Robert Adams says, if you still identify with your mind, your thoughts and the body, you will be subjected to the laws of the physical universe and his Karma.

But that ‘you’ is not the static, the higher Self. It is your body with which you identify. It is the soul (rarefied matter) and the body, which are subjected to that.

Do you see the difference?

So, I’m sorry, but you cannot play the game-of-freedom thinking you will go somewhere. If you want to awaken, you have to be freedom itself. Always and everywhere.

You have to be awareness and to be truth 100%.  The way to freedom, is a way of life… it is only 100 %.


Freedom from the self
“To free the mind from all conditioning, you must see the totality of it without thought. This is not a conundrum; experiment with it and you will see.
Do you ever see anything without thought? Have you ever listened, looked, without bringing in this whole process of reaction? You will say that it is impossible to see without thought; you will say no mind can be unconditioned.
When you say that, you have already blocked yourself by thought, for the fact is you do not know.
So can I look, can the mind be aware of its conditioning? I think it can. Please experiment. Can you be aware that you are a Hindu, a Socialist, a Communist, this or that, just be aware without saying that it is right or wrong? Because it is such a difficult task just to see, we say it is impossible.
I say it is only when you are aware of this totality of your being without any reaction that the conditioning goes, totally, deeply—which is really the freedom from the self.”
Jiddu Krishnamurti
The Book of Life, May 23, Harper San Francisco, 1995












Silvia please tell me or write something about the “Implanters” who or what are they?

First thing I would like to remind you, every truth as it enters the world of duality turns into a lie.

Therefore, do not believe anything I say, listen the “energy” beyond words and in the silence of the mind you will get your answer.

ROBERT ADAMS: “As long as there is something, it’s not that. There’s no thing whatsoever. It’s beyond words and thoughts. … There’s nothing. But nothing is beyond the senses, so it sounds stupid. When your mind is quiet and peaceful, and you sit in the silence, then you become that you’re referring to and that’s none other than your Self. But don’t try to explain the Self. Once you try to explain it, it’s not it. That’s what I mean when I always tell you, just be your Self, be your Self and you will be safe. Don’t be this and don’t be that, but be yourself. Don’t be a woman, don’t be a man, don’t be anything. … Robert Adams Satsang

How the static enters into a dream, is unclear. But it does, and once into this illusion he get absorbed into different dreams like a molasses smoothly drops from one container into another.

Every time you enter in what we call a dream, the rules change, but as we promptly identify with the character in that “play” it becomes reality.

Castaneda, during his ‘conscious dreaming’ mentions that the moment you enter in a dream and you start interacting and accepting it as reality, you become trapped.

That dream becomes as real as this one.

What is an implant?

An implant is anything which puts you asleep and lessen or erases your native awareness.

At the very moment you start using a mind, thinking it is yours, by the very act of thinking and reorienting yourself in the dream the mind calls life, you are giving power to the implant.

Life itself is an implant.

Every single act performed in this dream, which reinforce the dream, as a parent does with his kids, or as society does in a much broader scale is contributing to the deep sleep. It reinforce the amnesia.

Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works “But you have to realize that you are nothing first and if you’re confounded with all kinds of material things you can’t see that yet.”


Life dramatizes higher truth.

People devote their life trying to save or help others. Indeed we are in a “prison”. And we need help to escape, but escape is not what we thing, it is not the escape from poverty, from hunger, from a world of violence… it is the waking up from a state of unconsciousness.

The first step of the implant is to get you to identify with a program called mind or self which thinks for you. Once you accept it as you, you are done for it!

Not only that, but everything the mind will have you to do and think, is in the direction of fortifying the implant on yourself and anyone you come in contact to.

We so became an essential part of its enslavement wheel, (truly we are creating this illusion but not as God as the minds make us believe) but as ponds.

Fighting the mind will produce a unlimited sort of uncomfortable feelings and physical pains which deters weak people from ever getting close to the truth.

The mind or the self are the same thing.

Any action in the physical universe, any thought, any consideration about the presence, existence and survival of the self or any self is part of the implant and will give it force.

L.Ron Hubbard mentioned that every item is a wrong item.

Everything a mind can think of is a wrong item for a static. How could a static possibly have items not having a position in space, no form or wavelength?

At the same time Mr. Hubbard has developed and created with $cientology a technology which continuously give items to its followers, false goals, estensive planning (admin scale), and an illusion of power. Scientology one of the many activities implementing the implant called life.

Do you want to awaken?

There is a way, you need to stop playing this game.

Stop ask why, stop setting goals, stop seeking for acknowledgment or reward. Realize desires are what will bring you back to the dream, over and over.

Re-read the definition of static, and ask yourself, how something with no mass, no wavelength, no space is so fixated on having, being, and doing? Who is the one wanting having, being and doing?

The mind.

Remind yourself that every day.

Gurdijeff and Ouspensky call it Self-remember, Castaneda talks about the non-ordinary reality, Robert Adams and his lineage use the question: To whom does this world appear?

First step. Realizing you are asleep. Second step constant alertness of who you truly are.

It is a 24 hours a day work. Intention is the key.

Intention will get you over the enemy of knowledge: Fear, Wisdom, Power and old age.

Intention will bring you to experiment in first person the freedom which a mind hides and try to destroy successfully with your help.


So Ramana’s first line of instruction was often to invite the seeker to share his vision: Ýou are Shiva as you are. Why change? Why do sadhana? Just understand who you are, be who you are’.

This was an invitation to anupaya.Only after the bewildered seeker demonstrated that he did not understand this instruction would Ramana go down an upaya or two and ask them to inquire,’Who am I’or say a mantra.

Though you could scarecely call Ramana a Shaivite-both his personality and the tone of his teaching were intensely Vedantic-in this one thin,Ramana was being a Shaivite since he followed the method of offering the highest upaya first.

Ramana’s method gives a clear understanding about the way the upayas work.Imagine a Shaivite sage being approached by a seeker who asks to be taught. The sage,like Ramana says,’Remain as you are.You are Shiva. There is nothing wrong’,offering anupaya.

The seeker says, ‘I can’t do that, I need practice’.


Okay, focus on pure awareness.Use your will to stay present to Consciousness Itself. Now he is offering shambhavopya.

The seeker says, ‘I can’t do that’.

The sage says,’Why not?

Seeker: My mind keeps coming in and pulling me away.


Okay Purify your mind.Focus in the thought Í am Consciousness’,repeat the mantra.Now he is offering shaktopaya

Seeker: I can’t do that either.


Why not?

Seeker: I am obsessed by sex and money and wordly ambition


Okay.get married.Get a job. Give some money to the ashram. Do hatha yoga,do breathing exercises and meditate on the form of your Guru or deity. Now he is offering anavopya.

Each upaya solves the difficulty the seeker has with the one above it.

-Swami Lakshmanjoo

Wrong battles and energy spills

In the past few years I have been working in the area of non-duality.

“So we are asking, as at the beginning, can the mind come to that extraordinary seeing, not from the periphery, from the outside, from the boundary, but come upon it without any seeking? And to come upon it without seeking is the only way to find it. Because in coming upon it unknowingly, there is no effort, no seeking, no experience; and there is the total denial of all the normal practices to come into that center, to that flowering. So the mind is highly sharpened, highly awake, and is no longer dependent upon any experience to keep itself awake. When one asks oneself, one may ask verbally; for most people, naturally, it must be verbal. And one has to realize that the word is not the thing—like the word “tree,” is not the tree, is not the actual fact. The actual fact is when one touches it, not through the word but when one actually comes into contact with it. Then it is an actuality—which means the word has lost its power to mesmerize people. For example, the word God is so loaded and it has mesmerized people so much that they will accept or deny, and function like a squirrel in a cage! So the word and the symbol must be set aside.” -Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Book of Life, May 19, HarperSanFrancisco, 1995

It is a path full of wonders and one of the abilities I have re-gained is the sight of energy.

99% of the times what the body eyes tells you you see, it is not what it is.

The mind has been given to all of us in order to keep us busy into living a life fighting for battles, principles and goals which solidify our state of identification with this dream.

Once you silence your mind (by literally quieting it or stop identifying with the thoughts) you will understand why the best way to get out of this game of illusion is by stop playing it.

To stop engaging in wars and battles which, although as suggested by the mind of good aims and principles, do not benefit you or anyone else.

The best thing we can do, it is to increase our awareness as to be able to look beyond words or appearance and to perceive the true intention of people.

Unethical/ unaware people use unstated common agreements, to lead you to believe they are working toward a common goal while their true intention, is of a very different nature.

An agreement, many times and especially when we dealing with customs and traditional behaviors, does not have to be stated verbally and ill intentioned beings know it.

They know that is an agreement is stated or written on stone or not, at the end, does not make any difference.

Con-artists and empaths have their way to gain your trust, to mirror telepathically the ideal scene you always wanted.

Even when you can “see” energy, at times, they are able to block your view, and in order to maintain your sight, you need to distance yourself from them.

This is to say, the only way to solve a wrongdoing it is not to waste time into ‘Justice’ wars, but to make yourself stronger and able to perceive what is beyond body sight or cleverly suggested by the mind.

You need to be able to see their hidden motives, their underlining intention to break the ‘deal’ and those stated or unstated rules/agreements.

Broken expectations steam from non-confront of the fact that this is a dual universe. Trust and betrayal, good or bad, love and hate and so forth do co-exist.

A Sufi story says: “One day the Devil found a piece of truth and brought it to mankind so it could be organized.”

I found the only way to know the truth, which is not 100% but still pretty close, is by looking at energy behind the view of the eyes.

The same thing does apply in dealing with inorganic beings or spirits as many of them have the ability to project deceitful pictures and intentions to the person they deal with.

By recognizing you are not the thinker, you can re-gain the ability to truly “see”.

The body eyes are not there to give you the gift of sight but to blind you from truth.

Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works -“What do you do with your life everyday? How do you live your life? This doesn’t mean that you have to sit home and meditate all day long. It means you can go about your business. You can work. You cannot work. You can go to a movie. You can watch TV. You can do whatever you like, but never identify with the object! Never identify with what the body is doing. Let the body do whatever it came here to do, but you keep the mind and yourself on your heart, on the light, on consciousness. Quiet your mind any way you want, whatever method you use. Become the witness to your thoughts. Use atma-vichara, self-inquiry, whatever method you have to use, do it, but do it all day long, that’s the secret. Not just when you come here, not just an hour a day, but all during the day. “ Page 292

Until people understand fully the true enemy is not visible to the body eyes and cannot be heard with the body ears… they will waste time in wrong battles, exactly as planned by “the implanters”.

If the house is on fire, would you really stop and argue about who spilled the milk on the floor?

When people do not see their true enemy, they waste time fighting all those who wronged them instead of running out the door in a hurry, which is, dedicating their energy to became stronger and to set a positive path for others.

Those are my thoughts.

You will find many people who have been hurt and damaged by the wrongdoings of others… many of them, will get lost in endless war. Some other will recognize the only war worth to fight, is the war of self-discovery and improvements.

When you throw a rock into the pool of energy… the ripples go long ways.

In that way we are all connected and, once you have regained the gift of spiritual sight, you know that to be true.

This post is dedicated to the many who have been severely betrayed, hurt, cheated and are now devoting their lives to assert their rightness under the label of “bringing justice.”

They need to realize there is nothing you gain from a fight, in fact a free spirit is not even interested in fighting. The EGO is.


Here is another version of the Sufi’s story mentioned above:

“The devil was talking to his friends when they noticed a man walking along a road. They watched him pass and saw that he bent down to pick something up.

“What did he find?” asked one of the friends.

“A piece of Truth,” answered the devil.

The friends were very concerned. After all, a piece of Truth might save that man’s soul – one less in Hell. But the devil remained unmoved, gazing at the view.

“Aren’t you worried?” said one of his companions. “He found a piece of Truth!”

“I’m not worried,” answered the devil.

“Do you know what he’ll do with the piece?”

The devil replied, “as usual, he’ll create a new religion. And he’ll succeed in distancing even more people from the whole Truth.”

Tools: learning to communicate in the spiritual world.

I want to introduce you a great man. Many of you already know him.

His name is David St Lawrence and he is the founder of a group called Spiritual Rescue Technology.

soul touch

The reason I think of him as an exceptional being is:

  •  David has simplified and made available for a very little initial cost, to everyone on a spiritual quest, an ancient technology, altered by Mr. Hubbard and delivered in the Church of $cientology for hundred of thousands of dollars.

The interesting thing is, once in the hands of the Church of $cientology, this very old technology has been labelled as ‘level of NEW OT7’, altered to minimize its powerful effect, delivered under heavy monitoring, conditioning, control and huge mandatory fees (it cost a minimum of $200.000 to get to it for a new adept) and turned into a secret activity.

The Level of NEW OT 7, it is not a status of power and control over people and things as many adept believe and as it is sold by the Cult of $cientology, but a state of mind whereas you “see” and interact with a  world of spirits (inorganic beings, ghosts) not quite visible by a body sight.

For who of you interested in the activities of this Physical universe which includes, visible and not-visible to the human eyes manifestations and life-forms, David St Lawrence offers a priceless tool. He teaches how to use it on your own as part of life, just like you  breath.

Remember, there are many tools and they all work if used at the right time, depending on the situations and our level of awareness at the moment. The more tools you have under your belt the better it is.



“Welcome newcomers to an extraordinary opportunity

Spiritual Rescue Technology will change your life to the extent that you learn to communicate with the spirits surrounding you.

Some of you may be content to receive messages from your spirit guides, while others may concentrate on identifying and handling the upset spirits who make your life a struggle.

Those of you who get counseling or do solo sessions will eventually start working with the spiritual companions who make up the actual components of your personality and influence your daily life. When you get to this point, you will find that life becomes much easier because you now have others adding their intentions to yours.

I have created a graphic which illustrates the levels of ability you can reach by studying and using Spiritual Rescue Technology. We already have people operating at the higher levels.”


If you interested in knowing more about this tool

Here are some book links:



HONESTY and CASE GAINS: What it is really keeping you from advancing?

IMPORTANT NOTE: the intent of the below post on FB was not to criticize Mr. Hubbard or any other philosopher. It was prompted by a deep desire to awaken those who have been trapped by the many false data imparted to them during their affiliation with Scientology and Scientologists.
L.Ron Hubbard was obviously a very bright man. He has studied his lot very throughly. During and after his research, he was able to compile a new path with the information (data as well as pre-existing processes and techniques) he found useful, from other sources. Remember he was a very good lecturer and a master in hypnosis.
If you have been in ‘Scientology’ for years, but haven’t advanced, it is time for you to think that, may be, Scientology as Hubbard lay it down, is not your gradient or right approach. 

As Hubbard stated in many ways ‘the right item, when found, removes any barrier… (money, time, etc…)

FB post May 2018
Studying Scientology for my last 35 years has been something I would never exchange for anything in the world. Class 4, Class 5, Class 6 (SHSBC), C/S courses and Internships, green and red volumes and all the rest.
I was also lucky enough to be pushed out from the Church of $cientology and to be outcast from the independents…
I found myself free to research.
Studying others spiritual groups with the basics of scientology under my belt gave me a much deeper understanding of things.
The Start-Change-Stop as practiced by Gurdjieff goes much deeper than the one delivered by the Church, and so Castaneda’s recapitulation it is a much more effective type of Self Analysis and in a way of Engram’s running. 
Unfortunately, Hubbard never gave specific credit to the sources of his discovery, beyond a loose indication to the Veda, Buddhist and at times names not that significant to a searcher. (Generalities).
So, if you need to find your path you have to came off the pc chair idea, roll up your sleeves and dig.
I promise you, even if you will discard 99% of the data you find, it is worth it.
Much of the information, believe it or not, are not assimilated by the printed words, but by the knowingness left on higher frequencies; by entering the cloud of knowledge of higher planes.
Scientology is just a way, one step of a path, of the very many paths that could lead you to spiritual freedom.
Hubbard original intent to familiarize ones with the material world (illusionary world) by studying its physical laws and finding oneself, so that they could than move past the necessity to have material power or a material body (assumed-identity and mis-ownership), was never completed.
As many mystics warned, the average men get stuck on fear, power and knowledge.
 (Fear, Clarity, Power, & Old Age: THESE ARE THE FOUR NATURAL ENEMIES OF A PERSON OF KNOWLEDGE – The teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda)
Because of that, Scientology, has become a real implant. Listen to people “successes”. The very majority talk about their power (OT levels, L’s) to control and affect this illusionary universe and other beings).
Remote viewing, ESP, the ability to materialize matter or control others are all human gains. A spirit is part of this illusion.
Please do re-read the definition of a static.
The Vedas, Castaneda and many other spiritual philosophies (a step above their teachings to the masses) all warn you about the danger of wanting “Human power”.
Scientology is not the only way out.
Actually, if not taken for what it is; a step, it doesn’t take you out at all, and when practiced as THE one and only, makes humans more human, beefs-up the mind(s) (ego), fixes valances.
An inorganic being, a spirit, still is made of particles, energy… it hasn’t gone very far at all.
 I made a point to publish quotes on my Facebook page adding the exact reference to give a chance to the hungry searchers/seekers to find ways to their right path.
Even if I’m fully aware, many will interpret my posts as challenge, and will see attacks and war where is not, I know the right people will get the point of it. And for those I write.
“Only a Fool Fights in a Burning House.” (Klingon Proverb)
Autobiography of a Yogi – by Paramhansa Yogananda – First edition 1946
“I realized that Master would never display his powers when challenged, or for a triviality.”  page 126
Excerpts from “The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge” by Carlos Castaneda
The four Natural Enemies of a Man of Knowledge Saturday, April 8th, 1962)

“When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize, for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning. “He slowly begins to learn… bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.

“And thus he has tumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: Fear!

A terrible enemy… treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling… waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest.”
“What will happen to the man if he runs away in fear?”
“Nothing happens to him except that he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings.”
“And what can he do to overcome fear?”
“The answer is very simple. He must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task. “When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy.”

“Does it happen at once, don Juan, or little by little?”
“It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast.”
“But won’t the man be afraid again if something new happens to him?”
“No. Once a man has vanquished fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because, instead of fear, he has acquired clarity… a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate the new steps of learning, and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed.

“And thus he has encountered his second enemy: Clarity!

That clarity of mind, which is so hard to obtain, dispels fear, but also blinds. “It forces the man never to doubt himself. It gives him the assurance he can do anything he pleases, for he sees clearly into everything. And he is courageous because he is clear, and he stops at nothing because he is clear. But all that is a mistake; it is like something incomplete. If the man yields to this make-believe power, he has succumbed to his second enemy and will fumble with learning. He will rush when he should be patient, or he will be patient when he should rush. And he will fumble with learning until he winds up incapable of learning anything more.”

“What becomes of a man who is defeated in that way, don Juan? Does he die as a result?”
“No, he doesn’t die. His second enemy has just stopped him cold from trying to become a man of knowledge; instead, the man may turn into a buoyant warrior, or a clown. Yet the clarity for which he has paid so dearly will never change to darkness and fear again. He will be clear as long as he lives, but he will no longer learn, or yearn for, anything.”

“But what does he have to do to avoid being defeated?”
“He must do what he did with fear: he must defy his clarity and use it only to see, and wait patiently and measure carefully before taking new steps; he must think, above all, that his clarity is almost a mistake. And a moment will come when he will understand that his clarity was only a point before his eyes. And thus he will have overcome his second enemy, and will arrive at a position where nothing can harm him any more. This will not be a mistake. It will not be only a point before his eyes. It will be true power. “He will know at this point that the power he has been pursuing for so long is finally his. He can do with it whatever he pleases. His ally is at his command. His wish is the rule. He sees all that is around him.

But he has also come across his third enemy: Power!

“Power is the strongest of all enemies. And naturally the easiest thing to do is to give in; after all, the man is truly invincible. He commands; he begins by taking calculated risks, and ends in making rules, because he is a master. “A man at this stage hardly notices his third enemy closing in on him. And suddenly, without knowing, he will certainly have lost the battle. His enemy will have turned him into a cruel, capricious man.”

“Will he lose his power?”
“No, he will never lose his clarity or his power.”
“What then will distinguish him from a man of knowledge?”
“A man who is defeated by power dies without really knowing how to handle it. Power is only a burden upon his fate. Such a man has no command over himself, and cannot tell when or how to use his power.”
“Is the defeat by any of these enemies a final defeat?”
“Of course it is final. Once one of these enemies overpowers a man there is nothing he can do.”
“Is it possible, for instance, that the man who is defeated by power may see his error and mend his ways?”
“No. Once a man gives in he is through.”

“But what if he is temporarily blinded by power, and then refuses it?”
“That means his battle is still on. That means he is still trying to become a man of knowledge. A man is defeated only when he no longer tries, and abandons himself.”
“But then, don Juan, it is possible that a man may abandon himself to fear for years, but finally conquer it?”
“No, that is not true. If he gives in to fear he will never conquer it, because he will shy away from learning and never try again. But if he tries to learn for years in the midst of his fear, he will eventually conquer it because he will never have really abandoned himself to it.”

“How can he defeat his third enemy, don Juan?”
“He has to defy it, deliberately. He has to come to realize the power he has seemingly conquered is in reality never his. He must keep himself in line at all times, handling carefully and faithfully all that he has learned. If he can see that clarity and power, without his control over himself, are worse than mistakes, he will reach a point where everything is held in check. He will know then when and how to use his power. And thus he will have defeated his third enemy.

“The man will be, by then, at the end of his journey of learning… and almost without warning he will come upon the last of his enemies: Old age!

This enemy is the cruelest of all, the one he won’t be able to defeat completely, but only fight away. “This is the time when a man has no more fears, no more impatient clarity of mind… a time when all his power is in check, but also the time when he has an unyielding desire to rest. If he gives in totally to his desire to lie down and forget, if he soothes himself in tiredness, he will have lost his last round, and his enemy will cut him down into a feeble old creature. His desire to retreat will overrule all his clarity, his power, and his knowledge.

“But if the man sloughs off his tiredness, and lives his fate through, he can then be called a man of knowledge, if only for the brief moment when he succeeds in fighting off his last, invincible enemy. That moment of clarity, power, and knowledge is enough.”


Sri Yukteswar was both a swami and a yogi. A swami, formally a monk by virtue of his connection with the ancient order, is not always a yogi. Anyone who practices a scientific technique of Godcontact is a yogi; he may be either married or unmarried, either a worldly man or one of formal religious ties.
A swami may conceivably follow only the path of dry reasoning, of cold renunciation; but a yogi engages himself in a definite, step-by-step procedure by which the body and mind are disciplined, and the soul liberated. Taking nothing for granted on emotional grounds, or by faith, a yogi practices a thoroughly tested series of exercises which were first mapped out by the early rishis.
Yoga has produced, in every age of India, men who became truly free, truly Yogi-Christs.
Like any other science, yoga is applicable to people of every clime and time. The theory advanced by certain ignorant writers that yoga is “unsuitable for Westerners” is wholly false, and has lamentably prevented many sincere students from seeking its manifold blessings. Yoga is a method for restraining the natural turbulence of thoughts, which otherwise impartially prevent all men, of all lands, from glimpsing their true nature of Spirit. Yoga cannot know a barrier of East and West any more than does the healing and equitable light of the sun. So long as man possesses a mind with its restless thoughts, so long will there be a universal need for yoga or control.
Page 176
https://www.holybooks.com/wp- content/uploads/Autobiography-of-a-Yogi-by-Paramahansa-Yogananda.pdf

Pain: are you succumbing or are you in the process to re-born?

Pain: are you succumbing or are you in the process to re-born?


When I was a child my mother use to take away from me the very things I loved. She would cause me pain while telling me that pain was a necessary part of life. She wanted so badly to be a martyr, believing pain was a sort of redemption, she would lie to herself and hide to the view of others, when satisfying her fancies and enjoying her little pleasures. She was very deceitful, as in her mind she was not allowed to pursue pleasure and she had to disguise any of it in order to have it.

Unaware, unawakened people think they know best and take away others freedom, punishing and controlling in the name of love or peace. They create suffering where there could be peace, respect and harmony.


At the very bottom of the scale where pain and love are quite near; love is expressed with suffering, lies, confusion and agony.

And, at this level, pain has no purpose at all. Despite what we have been told, there is no reason to endure it either.

We have been so conditioned to  accept the unfairness of life, the pain which the love ones brings us (the love ones being God, a family member, a friend etc..), we silently accept, resign to it, as we accept having a heart.

But in truth, there is no reason to not walk away from any of it.

The only pain which is worth living, is the pain awakening brings about with the shocking discovery we have been lied to, we have been building and protecting a state of unconsciousness and an identity or identities that never existed.


“I am not the body,” to most people means simply this: “I am not my body.” But I am a part from my body especially those of us with a Christian Judaeo background.
We say, “My body is the temple for the living God and God resides within myself.”
This may be true to an extent, but it is not the ultimate truth. The ultimate truth is exactly what it says, “I am not my body.” In other words, my body does not exist, but there are not two of us. There is not I-am and my body or there is not God and my body. There is not God residing in my body. There simply is no body. No body exists. Therefore I-am, is that I-am. You are consciousness just the way you are, but you are not the body. In other words what you think is the body, is consciousness. There is not the body and consciousness.
There’s the body as consciousness and the body does not exist the way it appears.
As an example: Take a movie theatre, you have the moving picture on the screen.
You do not see the screen because it’s covered by images and you do not even think of the screen. You have no idea there is a screen because you do not think about it. You’re thinking about the images. You become immersed in the movie, beginning, a middle and an end. But yet without the screen there would be no movie. So we can say the movie is not reality. The screen is the reality. And when the images cover the screen, the screen is still the reality. But the images give an appearance like reality.”
…”These are all cosmic images on the screen of consciousness, and that’s everything. You and I, the chairs, the couch, the sky, the moon, the universe are simply images, appearances, optical illusions.
The truth is that you are consciousness, but you can’t see yourself because of the maya, the grand illusion. So you believe that you are the body and you are the doer.”
“So you say, “Well how come I feel all these other things? How can I feel disease?
How can I feel hurt? How can I feel my problems?” The reason you feel these things is because of wrong identification. You’re not identifying with the screen, you’re identifying with the images. And as long as you believe that you’re an image like the movie, you’re going to suffer accordingly.
The secret is therefore to let go, and quiet your mind. Identifying with consciousness and not with the image which is called false imagination. But you may say to me, “Will I see my fellow man suffering? There’s a war to break out in Iraq. All kinds of man’s inhumanity to man is happening all around me. Is that false?” As long as you believe in it, then it’s real to you. Therefore I will not tell you it’s false because you believe in it.
Again it’s like the person in the movie. I tell them the screen is the reality, but they say, “No, the images are real, I can see them, can’t you see the person killing somebody else? And somebody dying of cancer? And a bomb falling on the city? How can you say that’s not real?” So I come and take away the screen and there’s nothing but a blur. This is what happens when you awaken. The human dream is over. It becomes nothing but a blur.”
Robert Adams Satsangs: The Collected Works
Transcript 12
I Am Not The Body!
28th September, 1990

With that, our loyalty, won by deception, leaded us to a cooperation onto solidify minds.

Yes, as many like to think venting their ego, we built this world.

Once well identified with this illusion we have become the very bricks which this prison is built with and kept standing. We have helped, by identifying with this illusion, to make this illusion more and more real, more and more solid.

We have become ponds, working to erase the pain by burying the truth, while making the pain of life/lies last. The reason: the pain of truth is presented by the minds as an unnecessary illusion while the pain of life, (which is in itself a solid agreement with the illusion) is viewed as real.


So, I stayed away for few years from anyone in the field of spiritual freedom, with their many attempts to make me feel wrong for experiencing pain, for my “depression”, for a deep sense of unhappiness and betrayal. Fortunately, I stopped listening to the know-bests, the “Standard Tech” ones, Scientologists or not in the field of freedom and pursued my own research.



As Castaneda suggested, I choose death as my best friend, and little by little started to work on the de-conditioning…. I knew the conditioning was real, but I have never expected to go as deep as I discovered going, very recently, when I advanced to a new state of awareness which goes beyond anything I have ever experienced. The conditioning goes deep and its roots are seated in the very core of our awareness. It is essentially everything we think we know, or we even imagine we are.

My last teaching came recently from a dream. I was facing a choice where I could just walk free or help what appeared, in the dream, to be my family. Of course, being trapped as most of us, in the dream I choose to help my family.

The feeling of failure attached to that struggle is what I woke up to. It was a dream, it was not real. Yet, I sacrificed my freedom for that illusion.  Exactly like most of us do every single day, when they choose to believe, the bodies we see, our families, kids, friends, pet or people in need, are the priority, and a reason to stay or to endure pain.

Our implanted mind will always make us to accept the pain of an illusion while taking us away from the pain leading to freedom. We prefer to succumb protecting a child which does not exist, than feeling the pain and guilt of having left a child even if deep down we know to be a projection of our mind.


Can you see? Can you see the cost of following the path of awareness, while being still connected to a mind?  Because the mind will blind you with pain, sense of guilt, terror, illusion of treason and sufferings.

The mind keeps you dreaming.

So, if you choose to follow your awareness, you will have to be strong enough to accept and survive through the torture of the mind…. for as long as you have it connected (by identification) and up to the point where the splitting occurs and you are now free of its grasp. Free of the fate of the body, the character on the movie you were assign to believe it was you.




When people say we are all connected, we are all one, they are telling a truth, even if they are not aware of the extent of it.

We, the program, is one, the codes, the projection we are watching is one. One, even if  in appearance presents itself with many different characters and minds. Brilliant isn’t it?

“A half-truth is even more dangerous than a lie. A lie, you can detect at some stage, but half a truth is sure to mislead you for long.”
― Anurag Shourie, Half A Shadow

“The most harmful lies and the most hurtful, always contain a grain of truth,” he said. “But nevertheless, lies they do remain.”
― Robin Jarvis, Whortle’s Hope

“The best lies stay close to the truth.”
― Cornelia Funke, Reckless


“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong.

The amount of work is the same.”
― Carlos Castaneda




I got my answer…

“If you ever want to go anywhere, make it about helping others, not yourself and your answer will be right there.



I remember, I was three years old, when sitting against the wall of my bedroom, holding my legs close to my body, I wished with all my self someone from “home” would come and take me back.

I felt lost, in a strange body which demanded so much of me, so much nonsense and most of all, demanded me to identify with it in order to be heard and seen.

2018 Jan 19 Blog

And with time, I got lost too, lost into believing Silvia Kusada goals where mine, she was me. Time when I forgot my-Self and subscribed to the rules and demands of this world of illusion.

Although from a human prospective those might have seemed moment of success, they were in fact times of profound failure and unconsciousness.

But few days ago, while I was doing some research to help another soul, I found my answer.

Robert Adams. This amazing being, non only stated that the body is an illusion, the mind the program who keeps us connected to the “play”, but he actually went much further into saying, we have no-connection what so ever with this character, we brought to believe it was us.


“Sitting” in a theater, we were told Joe, Helen or the little dog, was the Self. And from there we started to feel, to think, to act as we actually were that character in the play. And why the play was going on, following a perfectly written manuscript, recorded and played in front of us, through the mind, we were given the illusion of being cause, of having a say on the future of this “creature”.

But today, I finally recognize, Silvia Kusada, or Joe Muller, or Dorothy Silvertstain, where never me. Where just character of a movie played in front of me, while tricked into taking responsibility for them. Into believing their survival depended on me.

So much suffering, rejoicing, struggles and achievements…. so much emotions produced artificially while “living” a life never existed. I got squeezed as a lemon, as every else by the “Games-masters” which feed on our emotions.

I always new, Silvia Kusada wasn’t me, not totally me at least… I couldn’t explain the connection, why I couldn’t just separate.

I have been very unhappy into this mis-ownership. It never worked for me.

And finally, when I fully realized, this play is a projection, Mrs. Silvia a character of the play which has her own story already written by beginning to end. When I fully owned the fact that there is nothing which actually connect us, or in common between the 2 of us, when I arised above the mind and stopped identifying with thoughts or her limitations. I finally felt very happy.

Now, most people would judge your spiritual state by your body. They rightly do that and that is what they can see from what they stand. That is what the Mind tells them to do.

If you are still believing you are in the play, that’s fine. In truth, anyone who think he can understand anything by the rational use of the mind, is dealing with the play… and will always follow the red-herrings thrown in by this program.

Today, after a life of struggles I finally feel peace.

It is not the human peace, is the lack of involvement with the Matrix, with its lies.


Silvia Kusada performance still going on without me, and it never was me in the first place… for you who judge the hologram, might not see any difference, as there is no difference. The play goes on as was recorded and programmed.

I’m just free of it.

Click to access the-collected-works-of-robert-adams-e-book-version.pdf

Click to access the-collected-works-of-robert-adams-e-book-version.pdf

  • January 2022
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