Acquiring freedom is a tough but wonderful experience…

Life is good.

It hasn’t been better than this, from a spiritual view-point,

for hundreds of years.

I feel I need to share something important to the many of you

that are walking the path of the Grade Chart,

especially those that are working on handling the huge

By Passed Charge that betrayals,

abuses and nullification have created…



While you are handling areas of life in the lower or upper bridge

other bigger things can get restimulated.

Aberration has been created in very clever manners

so as to make you think, very often,

that  every time you step forward

you are going backwards…




This is because, while eliminating lighter charges,

you have now re-activated the one just below.

Your awareness has increased

and you see more,

your OT power is greater

and therefore you affect broader areas awakening dormant charge.

What I’m trying to tell you is,

that if you are indeed doing a good job,

while you are working on your sessions,

there might be times you feel really sad, hopeless, alone, upset

or other misemotions.

This is the point where a skilled solo auditor,

“hugs” the pc and puts himself in session rigorously,




being able to recognize that he has successfully audited

enough to let bigger stuff to come to light.

I have been in heavy grief the last 10 days.

Many were the times when I thought:

“It will never end. I’m giving up! This is just too much…

how many nights I spent awaken wishing that awful feeling to go away…

But that it is Ok, and that is what can happen,

and it happens, believe me!!

And again, that is the time where you need to wear your auditor hat,

and put yourself back in session!

You need to know that you are lucky because

something very basic is coming up to you

asking you be handled!!

That is the moment to get to work!!

As LRH said :

“The only way out, is the way through!!



And than you go in session, and you do 5-6 sessions

and you feel better and then ‘Boom!’

Down again!

and you have to get up and put yourself back in session,

day after day until all of a sudden

while you still feeling a bit low…

you realize your space now is huge!!

You look at your wife/husband

and know what he/she is going to ask you

before she even start to talk…

By understanding the magnitude of aberration, lies, betrayals

that are on the whole track you will also see that sometimes

100 solo sessions can be just the beginning

of the handling of one little thing.

Have you ever wondered why, the pain, the depressive,

worthless feeling that hurts you restlessly

after your shocking experiences

with certain people or groups, just seem to never go away?

Well… think of this.




People below 2.0 (antagonism) down to 1.1 (Cover hostility)  and below,

deal in degradation, nullification, betrayals and shocks.

Right there when you think everything is dandy,

you are tired and you waiting for a hug,

when you are so up-stat and you know you will get a good ack

for your beautiful job, right there

they come with an instant terrifying blow.

They blow your head off with an excuse or another !!

Many of us have experienced that,

who like me with his ex-family partner

or who with his group, religious or not.

And for God Sake,

do you know how much charge these people/groups

can restimulate?

They can restimulate the Whole Track…

Because the whole track is build of degradation, nullifications,

betrayals, shocks and pain.

So don’t lose hope when you have a couple of sessions

and you still waking up during the night crying,

or when after two years you still feeling that disgusting pain.

Keep working on it, realizing that session by session,

you are taking off bit by bit,

piece by piece all that heavy charge.

Remind yourself, when everything seems hopeless,

that life has just restimulated a whole track of unexpected,

most of the times, undeserved, hardest,

strongest and annihilating blows ever!!

Mr. Smith came out of it after 10 years of intense auditing.

But look at him now!!




And Elisabeth Hamre?

She has been in the deepest darker corner of earth,

and after 30 years of soloing She IS now a true OT.

She has higher knowledge of the universe.

So if you feeling low, know that it happens to me, and to many others

very often, and it is just an indicator that you should go on.




Using Conditions Formulas as a newly Independent Scientologist

Click link above for full article!

by David StLawrence





Because the Church of Scientology misuses the Conditions Formulas to abuse and degrade, many newly independent escapees have an understandable reluctance to put them into use on a regular basis.

As a result, I have seen formerly dedicated Scientologists who have been out of the church for years and still natter about the church and who also still display the no-sympathy attitude favored by Sea Org members. They are still wearing their Scientology valences and have never handled the emotional charge that resulted from the abuse they received.

This does not need to occur. Applying the Doubt Formula and then the Liability Formula to your first Dynamic should be the next step after writing up a Doubt Formula on the church. After that, you can do Non-Existence in earnest and expect to progress up to power as an Independent if you do the conditions formulas in the proper order.

You made a huge investment of time and money to gain valuable knowledge in spite of being in a degrading and suppressive environment. Why not apply some conditions formulas and salvage that knowledge and put it to use?





Winning with the tech, after 35 years of no auditing.

Dear Trey,

My recent auditing with you has had a profound and remarkable effect to the betterment of my life – thank you! …

As you know, I am an OT 3 who has been completely out of Scientology for more than 35 years. I spent almost 10 years as a staff member, first at Saint Hill, England and then at two Missions in So Cal.

I did not think that I would ever be interested in Scientology or auditing again but found myself with several issues on the 2D that I didn’t have ready answer for and, at the suggestion of a close friend, I thought about getting auditing again.

You made it very easy, comfortable and safe for me to go straight back into session – none of those unnecessary routing forms, registrars, etc. I immediately loved being back in session – just the action of having my Ruds flown after 35 years was instant relief and joy for me. I told you stuff that I had never told any other auditor ever and that alone was a huge relief!




The cognitions I had and the charge confronted and released during my four days of auditing with you were nothing short of sensational and life changing. My universe is calm again. I am now in present time more than I have ever been in a very long time. The awful ‘slash and burn” (self-invalidation and disparaging evaluations) that used to occur in my universe on a constant basis has finally STOPPED – that alone to me is priceless!

This new found relief and calmness has allowed me to reconnect with the 2D that I had recently ended.

I now see this person and our relationship in a completely new unit of time. Being able to be in present time and not carry around a bunch of “noise” has allowed me to enjoy this relationship with someone I consider fortunate to have found and have in my life!

Thank you Trey – you are my long lost soul brother and “old friend” and I will be eternally grateful to you for being there for me….




and last but

fantastically important

our Welcome to:

Mark McKinstry





  • Mark  was part of the Davis Mission Division VI, which was one of the largest on the planet at the time.
  • He worked at both the Guardians Office Worldwide and Mission Office Worldwide when they were headquartered at St. Hill for 7 years. 1977-1982
  • He was a partner in Latch Management Services, a group that pioneered WISE consulting and dissemination to professionals, starting with Chiropractors. Sterling Management was an offshoot from this group. At one point our combined clients made up 25% of FSO GI weekly. Something WISE groups had never before accomplished. 1982 – 1987
  • He joined the Sea Org in 1988. I held the post of National Sales Manager at Bridge Publications for 17 years and personally got orders for over 14 million LRH books (fiction and non-fiction).

for full Independent Decalration visit Marty Rathbun site at:



We are here to help!!

If you are still in the church as staff or as public

and you need help to get out,

if you just left and you need help,

please call or write to:


Silvia  Kusada  e-mail:


Aida Thomas: e-mail:


contact Aida Thomas in private.


Silvia Kusada


Class VI (SHSBC), Class IV C/S and OT 8.




  1. From Paradise!!! What a great article, Silvia, dear beloved Fairy. WEll done. Not so much as doing the write up which is great, but having the understanding the tremendous battle one have to do in order to achieve. But the battle it self is on indicator how incradible powereful beings one is. So battles are very good to have. If one do not have one how one could find out otherwise? But I look at it differet now as I walk The Road of Light. Every step toward, every hour spent in Solo Session one gains knowledge and what is knowledge? I have new reality on knowledge I would like to share. The cognation power, the understanding of it. There is Power in the Universe which can melt, dessolve, disintegrate other energies. This power is very light in colour, it is intengible, no mess to it at all. The other which I call force since it have mess therefore these force is the MEST UNIVERSE. That is the reason two object cant occupy the same space. But the fist, the Light can and it do but, cant be seen with eyes. These power is Universal, and holds the Universe in place. In session, the cognation are words which is the understanding how the incident have happened but it is the POWER the LIGHT [underlying the words or encompass the words which has melted, dessolved the dark energy [ AS-IS!!!] [what was confronted] The being is the POWER and have the learned new ability, a skill as Scientologiest, to confront the MEST. Which is on Illusion. Unfotunately that Illusion is the Implant, the heavy duty BANK. Nevertheless, It is on Illusion. [ taken 35 years of relentless Solo Auditing To Find that bit of news and to experience.] If you asking a question IF the POWER of THE UNIVERSE are in everything how come it do not dessolve the force [MEST] since it is inside it?. OH! Dont forget you put everything there and YOU ARE ON OT!!! YOU will need to find everything what ever you put there by postulates, agreements, it is YOU who say it now and said it’s exists therefore it IS! Not only you have put the postulate there but you have re enforced the same postulates who knows how many different ways! Plus it is locked up with such a intricate locks for safe keeping, Oh the owenership!! The possessions we regard as valuble! Only you know where everything is hidden kept as dark secrects, bunddled up in invisible, hidden under rocks, put great signs on DO NOT REMOVE! It is you who defended every believe you ever had even, spilled blood. Now, one needs to dig all that up as the saying goes ” examined under new light”. You have the POWER, SINCE ARE THE POWER to do that, to aim that power by confrontation, LASER your MEST UNIVERSE WHICH YOU HAVE SO MUCH FUN TO CREATE BY Agreement. With each session one regains ones territory as on OT and the uses more of that wonderful power[ OT power, self] and bigger and bigger chunks of the MEST falls off. after a while they just blow by inspection, one glance puff one can as-is immense amount of agreements, considerations and one’s space becomes bigger and bigger. SO what is KNOWLEDGE? Words belong to the MEST UNIVERSE [all of tham.] They were created by us, therefore they are part of the implant. But one interprets every feelings, occurrences one experiences, knowledge, our reality is how one interprets what one experiences, for that very reason not two Universe is alike. You want to levitate, walk through wall, know not only the solid past but the future? Would like to see the Universe in new reality? These is all ours we never have lost it, we never lost our abbilities, we are the same OT as before the implans. The POWER of THE LIGHT is YOU. Simply one have to get audited or solo in order to …… Ones very firt session places one on THE ROAR OF LIGHT. That saying was given to me by my friend the Ancient ONE. Before that I was useing the words “Spiritual path”. In my new reality THE ROAD OF LIGHT explains what is, since it is the Light that dessolves, as-is the MEST UNIVERSE. Since you read here, you are on THAT ROAD, you who is in the need of change. So go for it, Even if just for the fun to have!!! Have a wondrous journey on THE ROAD OF LIGHT! Elizabeth

    • I would Like to add to the above. I have been looking for the understanding of power since way back in previous lifes since I held great amount. Which have brought nothing but loss. But not untill late i have the understanding of what is. I have solo audited thousands of hours in search of the knowledge yet the understanding have eluded me. I had to AS-IS the MEST UNIVERSE before I could comprehend the true meaning of power. IN the MEST U. it is easy to understand things which we accounter since it has colour shape smell, etc but when one wants to understand which has no subsistence and to undrestand how that works is was not on easy feat. Lets go back to the power of words, they actualy made of energy so it is not the true power. If words could desolve MEST than MEST Universe would not be here, or self help books being written and read “I’m OK you OK” and thousands different others and no one would need to go to confessionals, more than once. So words do not as -is only THE UNIVERSAL POWER can do dessolve the MEST. I hope this bit of knowledge will help you on your journey. It is my gift to you.

  2. Wow, your comment are inspiring and enlighting at the same time… We are so lucky to have you Elisabeth!! lots of love!!

    • Thank You Beloved ONE. I have received a great gift In the form of TECHNOLOGY, the knowledge how to apply. It works, it can get you out of HEll, MEST that is. With out such a gift of LRH’s I could never have become free. For that I am forever greateful.

  3. I’ve got some grade chart to cover first, but I am so looking forward to OT7!
    I love the photos on your blog, Silvia…LOVE them! The fish photo is amazing.
    Peace and Smiles to You

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